“Christ be our light, shine in our hearts, shine through the darkness”
It is almost hard to believe that two years ago today we all learned of the name of the school Sandy Hook Elementary, Adam Lanza and Newton, Connecticut. My heart still aches for all of those who lost children that day. And for those families, I am sure it feels like just yesterday and not two years ago. In the days following Sandy Hook, I blogged several blog posts. One of my most read posts was this post: I Am A Daughter.
But there also was this one that I wrote on the day following the Sandy Hook shooting. This post was originally posted on this blog on December 15, 2012. The title of the blog is “Why Won’t the Tears Fall?” These words still capture so well how I feel some days when I look at the world around me. There are so many days when the tears just won’t fall because I have become…in some ways…numb to what is happening in the world around me.
Here is the post I posted on December 15,2012: This afternoon I had the privilege of hanging out at church while the SS kids practiced for the SS Christmas program! As they sang the words “Peace to all the Earth,” I wanted to cry as I thought of the families in CT who won’t hear their babies voices again! Such a senseless act! I want to cry yet the tears simply won’t come! Why?!? Why won’t the tears fall from my face? Is it because I’ve cried too many tears over violent acts like this in my thirty years on this Earth? Is it because I’m numb and cannot understand why 20 innocent lives were taken way too soon from this Earth?
Yesterday and today I found myself thinking about and remembering all my friends who are parents! I can understand why you needed to hug and hold them last night and today! I found myself telling them to give their children an extra hug or cuddle just for me! I’m not a parent myself yet I yearn to be so deeply! And then I wonder do I really want to be? Of course I do! But what world will my future child enter into? A world strewn with sinful people…a sinful world! Yet what I do know is that love….God’s love…always wins!
I understand that is hard to grasp in light of yesterday’s events! But what I do know and believe with every fiber of my being is that God was there yesterday! God didn’t allow the events to unfold but as they unfolded God was there…holding and embracing each precious victim. God sent Jesus into the world and Jesus proclaims “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these!”
As I write this blog post, I find myself typing as my fingers dance across the keyboard yet I still find that these words are inadequate! Why can I not find the words? Why won’t the tears fall? How do we know that God’s love always wins?
God sent God’s Son as this precious gift who is born in a manger in Bethlehem and then later dies the ultimate death for us and our sins! This child comes as the light in the midst of the darkness and now more than ever we need this light to come!
So even when my words are inadequate I find myself turning to Scripture and letting the sighs rise up to God. “With sighs too deep for words to express….”
Or in these words, “Lord listen to your children praying, bring us love, bring us power, bring us peace!”
And finally, maybe, the tears I so deeply want to cry will fall from my face knowing we live in a sinful and sin-filled world but that God in God’s love for us all ALWAYS wins!! Perhaps that is a place for us to begin and cling to in the coming days!
Shortly after I wrote this post, the tears finally began to fall. And tonight, two years later, I still find myself clinging to these words knowing that Jesus Emmanuel is always with us. Emmanuel reminds us that he is the one who comes as the light in the midst of the darkness. He is the one who ultimately will bring about his peace. “God’s peace to us we pray.”
“Christ be our light, shine in our hearts, shine through the darkness.”
“Christ be our light, shine in our hearts, shine through the darkness.”
(In addition to this post and the link I posted earlier in this post, I also wrote one other post related to the Sandy Hook shooting. This post was written the day of the Sandy Hook shooting: With Sighs Too Deep)
Tara–this is just beautiful. I loved your words so much! I will never forget how I felt when that happened, but I will also never forget a friend teaching me just how much we have to trust Christ to protect our children. She also reminded me that if a tragedy does happen–Heaven forbid-, Christ would be there to hug them and love them and welcome them into Heaven where there will be no pain…no guns…no violence…no hatred… I was struck by her tremendous faith, and even though I believed her words, I still found myself doubting if I could ever trust Him enough with my kids. I've grown so much since that time, and I've realized that living in fear was no way to live, and that I have to trust Him to not only protect my children, but to also give me what I need if anything should ever happen to them. Here is a post I wrote shortly after the tragedy: http://christineleeb.blogspot.com/2012/12/be-change-youwish-to-see-in-this-world.html
Blessings to you!
Christine
Christine, thank you. Yes, God does indeed give us what we need even in the midst of tragedy. I am heading to your blog to read your post that you wrote shortly after the tragedy.
Tara, thank you for sharing your post remembering the Sandy Hook shootings. This post brought tears to my eyes remember such tragedies as this and others that have occurred…so sad; yet, I know – as you do and others commenting! – that God was there with those victims. So glad that your tears flowed – eventually (I wrote a poem that I shared on my blog during the Write 31 Days called "Where the Tears" talking about a friend; I also am reminded of the quote, author unknown, "Tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain."). Your words are beautiful and touching…thank you!
That is a beautiful quote. I have never heard that one before. Thanks for sharing it. Also I am glad my words touched your heart. Thank you!
I almost feel bad for saying this but I had almost forgotten about that tragic day, with all the other evil surrounding us this year. Seems with every passing day there is aches and pains, yearnings for His return, peace and healing. Thank you for this reminder that He is with us everyday even in the pain and aches He is and He will always be enough to carry us through.
Laura, I don't think you should feel bad. The sad thing is that there is so much evil and sadness that it is easy to forgot those awful things that have happened before the current ones. You are welcome for the reminder. God does indeed carry us through!
It is hard to remember such sad events like this one, and it's easy to let them overwhelm us. But we know that we have Hope in Jesus Christ, no matter how bleak the world gets.
Anastasia Rose
walk-in-the-rain-with-me.blogspot.com
Yes, it really is easy to let them overwhelm us. Yes indeed we do have hope in Jesus Christ!
So much heartache in this world, so grateful it isn't our forever home and that our hope can be in God. Thanks for reminding me to hug my loved ones.
YES! You are welcome for the reminder to hug your loved ones!