I went away on a wonderful continuing ed event but I started a little blog study before I left and want to finish it. I am so thankful for my friend Anna for posting about Hope for the Weary mom on her blog. Even though Im not a mama, it has blessed me too! Thanks for that Miss Anna!
Chapter Six—“Sometimes It Takes An Altar”
Of course, I have wanted to walk away…to walk away from my dream to have a family and to be a mom. But then God finds this way to remind me that I am not on this journey alone. God will not let me down! Boy aint that the truth?!?! But when I get down and start feeling Eeyorish, it’s really hard to listen to that voice of God. And thats when I need that altar…that place where I can totally feel God’s grace, peace, love, and most especially presence! For me it might be as simple as walking the aisles of Target like my friend Anna or simply spending time at my favorite place in the world;SuperAwesomeBibleCamp! I’ve knelt at the altar of God in an airport waiting at my gate for my flight. This happened in January of 2010 when my friend Renee lost her husband Ben in the Haiti earthquake. Another place that I have experienced this place is in the Rocky Mountains. There is just something so holy about the Lutheran Academy of the Rockies and being in a place where I can feel, see, and experience God’s presence. It is a place that gives me life again and again. Another place for me is the prairies of ND…hence the blog title! Where are those places for you?
Chapter Seven (The End)—“When Life Hurts Too Much”
Loss and grief is not a topic any of us like to talk about. However it is something we all experience. And most of those experiences bring us completely and utterly to our knees. My friend Anna and her husband J went through way more than anyone should go through to finally get their precious Sam! I remember grieving with all of my friends who have tried so hard to have a family and havent been able too. And then there is me, who wants so badly to have a family. I grieve being a mama! I know it may sound selfish and also maybe makes me feel a little dumb but its the truth; its my reality!
Will someone ever call me mama? Will I ever get to hold that precious infant in my arms and know love that only a mama can explain?
What I have come to realize in the midst of this study is that being a mama is hard work. Mamas grow weary yet God gives them the strength! I may grow weary waiting for my dream to come true but the truth is God gives me strength too. I just need to be patient, to trust in God who is faithful and true!(That is easier said than done most days though!)
No Matter What….
Those words are such great words. It’s a mantra some friends of mine live by and they are so true. The truth is no matter what happens in life, love, etc, God is there in the midst of it. How often do we forget that. How often do we see ourselves as failures in whatever we are doing. And as I read my friend Anna’s post on Hope for the Weary (You can read Anna’s post here; Hope for the Weary (New) Mom)
I was once again reminded that I cannot give up….
I cannot give up on the dream to find my Mr. Right…..
I cannot give up on my dream to have a family and children of my own….
And most of all, I cannot give up on my God who is faithful and will always be faithful to me……..
(I needed that reminder! Thanks Anna!)
P.S. My last post was my 500th post on this blog!
Why You Can’t Live at the Spa….quite the title for a chapter huh. This is chapter 4 in the book my mama friends are hosting an online book/Bible study on. Don’t we all wish we could live at the spa….especially on days when nothing seems to be going the way we want it to go! I love my friend Anna’s paraphrase of this Isaiah text. I’m posting it here for my mama friends:
“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those moms who trust in the Lord will find new strength to make it until bedtime. They will soar high on wings like eagles.They will run after tiny people endlessly and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint from sheer exhaustion.” -Isaiah 40:29-31
•What things do you love to do to relieve stress? I love to spend time with my friends, go get a haircut, listen to music, go to a movie! What do you like to do to relieve stress…especially you my mama friends!
•Do you see God’s Word as providing you with comfort? Why? Why not?
YES!!!!! God’s Words have a way of speaking to me when I least expect it. I hope that you feel the same way!
As I posted yesterday, my friend Anna is hosting an online Bible/Book study, “Hope for the Weary Mom!” As I read her post and the posts of the other mamas, I wonder what kind of a mama I will be! My heart aches for these mamas as I read their stories!But their honesty inspires me and I hope other mamas are blessed by reading their thoughts. Mamas, you aren’t alone!
•Have you gotten to the place of total breakdown? What does it look like for you? I have not gotten to that place of total breakdown. However I am sure I will someday when I have that family I am so yearning for. There are times when I get to the point of breakdown because I havent experienced what mamas are experiencing and I want that so badly!
•How does it feel to know that you don’t really have what it takes to be the kind of mom you want to be? The phrase that keeps popping into my head is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” God made us all to be who we are! I’m no mama but I am a sinner. I have a feeling that when I become a mom someday I will be disappointed and will compare myself to other mamas. Forgive me friends but there are days when I am sad and am…dare I say it…jealous of those of you who have a family! I just need to remember that God remains faithful and will always be faithful!
Just my thoughts. I am definetely no mama and don’t pretend to know everything about being a mom! I just hope I can be a good support for my mama friends. You are such blessings in my life. And one day I hope to be as great of a mom to my children as you are to yours!
My dear friend Anna and many other mamas are hosting an online book/Bible study called “Hope for the Weary Mom.” You can read Anna’s blog here: Hope for the Weary (New) Mom)
I love how honest their posts have been. When I first saw Anna’s post I was excited that he had pages for all sorts of mamas….but then I was also bummed because I’m not a momma but I yearn to be a mama in so many ways. (You, my faithful readers, already know that!) So Ive been reading Anna’s posts and pondering what kind of a mama I might be someday…and in the midst of this praying about something I have been pondering for awhile now…foster care and/or adoption. SO I thought I would share my thoughts and answer the questions from the book looking from my view and the view of others out there who are trying so hard to have a family and to be a mom or dad. I also have a feeling that my mama friends will be hopefully be blessed by these posts as well!
(And a side note for my dear friend Anna: Dear Anna, you are an awesome mama and Sam and J are blessed to have you in their lives. I know being a mom isnt easy but you dear aren’t afraid to be honest and share how hard being a mom can be. I so admire you for that and hope to be as good of a mom as you are to Sam!)
In chapter one, the chapter is titled, “When the Gentle Words Won’t Come.” How hard it is to find those gentle words when life seems so crazy etc. The discussion questions from that chapter that Anna posted are as follows. Lets discuss…
•Where do you turn first for comfort and relief?
As a writer, I have to put things down on paper so for me I write poetry. I also turn to trusted friends and family. Someday, as a mom, I know this wont be easy. I look at all my mama friends and how hard it must be to find that good caring time with other adults. Like a lot of moms out there, I wish I could say I turned to prayer and my Bible which I do do but not as often as I should!
Chapter two is titled “When You Just Don’t Measure Up.” Reading this I thought to myself….how many of us feel this on a daily basis…or if not on a daily basis at least pretty often. Its so hard to measure up to what we think we should be doing and what others think we should be doing etc. This chapter really spoke to my heart and in a lot of ways gave me a sense of peace! And let’s discuss these questions…
•How often do you catch yourself comparing your home, job, income or parenting to someone else? Boy…often! I so often find myself comparing my life to others especially when I see they have the things I want and yearn for so deeply. Will I ever get to have a family? Will anyone ever call me mama? And then I realize I am so blessed to have the life I do have. My friends who have children are such an awesome blessing in my life. I love spending time with each and every one of them.