Tag Archives: God

Hope Worth Waiting For

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We wait all the time, don’t we? We go to the post office to mail a package and we wait. We go to the grocery store to buy groceries and we end up waiting at the check out counter. We wait for the anticipation of the next big day or the next big event. But what I have come to realize is that we are not very good at waiting AT ALL. And I am just as guilty as the next person. On my way to workout and I get stopped because a train needs to cross the tracks. I find myself tapping my fingers on my wheel because this is holding me up and I need to get to my destination NOW! It seems that in this high tech world, we have so much accessible to us that we have forgotten how to be patient.

Advent is the perfect time to truly wait and be patient. Now I realize in a house full of kiddos, that can be extremely difficult but I think it also is important for us to remind children the true reason for the season and the importance of being patient. This season is all about the waiting and the preparing and the arrival of this precious holy child; the one who brings light in the midst of the darkness, hope in the midst of despair, and joy in the midst of sorrow. This holy child is the one who can bring about peace, justice, and mercy.

As you prepare your hearts, minds, and homes this Advent season, may you take the time to be patient, to wait for this precious child born in the unlikeliest of places. This precious child who is the Prince of Peace, who is Emmanuel, who is the Savior of the world, who is Messiah. This holy infant born in a manger in Bethlehem is the embodiment of hope in the world.

” ‘Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.’ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.’ “–Luke 2: 11-14

Jesus was sent into the world by God to remind us that there is always hope especially when we trust in this holy child. This holy child who later sits with tax collectors and sinners. This holy child who will be crucified for our sins and then will be raised from the dead. Jesus is the hope that we all must cling to; a hope that only God can give, a hope that is born that holy night in a manger in Bethlehem; A hope in an injust world that will bring about justice; A hope in a broken world, that will bring about healing and wholeness; A hope in a violent world that brings about healing, reconcilation and peace.

“Hope is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not yet seen.”

And this, my friends, is a hope worth waiting for!

Noticed by God (Five Minute Friday)

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I am linking up for the Five Minute Friday. (It’s Thursday and I just attended my first FMF Twitter Party where the prompt was released. So much fun! Already looking forward to next week’s party) The FMF is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Today’s prompt is “Notice.” Write for five minutes; unedited.

I pour my heart and soul out onto the page. But does anyone notice?

You pour your heart and soul out onto the page too. But does anyone notice you too?

So often we get get caught up in the statistics. Is anyone reading my heart and soul? Is it even worth it for me to pour my heart onto the page? Yet that isn’t at all what God wants us to notice.

God wants us to notice each other; to notice each other being brave. God wants us to see each others hearts, words, and even tears poured out for each other to notice. God wants us to notice each other as God notices us.

God looks down and wants us to hear him saying, “Child, I notice you. I hear your every prayer. I see every tear that falls from your eyes. I see and hear every word that pours out of your soul. I notice you because you are my children; “Fearfully and wonderfully made.”

God says…I indeed notice you…and I want you to notice each other.
I want you to notice the man standing on the street corner asking for help.
I want you to notice the single mother struggling to care for herself and her children.
I want you to notice all of my broken children…because I notice you all.

YOU ARE INDEED NOTICED, MY BELOVED CHILDREN!!!

Forgive Us Our Sins As We Forgive Those…

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I am participating in this month’s synchroblog (a blog where numerous bloggers blog on the same topic) which can be found at http://synchroblog.wordpress.com. This month’s synchroblog topic is posing this question: “What would it look like for the Church as a whole when abusive leaders are held accountable and then are reconciled? How do we do that in such a way as to let victims be heard and redemption be the end goal. What does redemption and/or reconciliation look like in real life? What does grace look like in these situations?”

“Pray then in this way: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, as earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us to the time of trial but rescue us from the evil one. If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”–Matthew 6:9-15

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Or in another version, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” How often do we go through the motions of reciting these words from the Lord’s Prayer without truly thinking about what they mean? How can we forgive those who have hurt us…especially if those we need to forgive are those who are leaders in our lives and who we have trusted?

I have been extremely lucky in my life to have leaders who have been wonderful leaders. Yet that is not always the case. In fact, several years ago, the synod I was serving in had an unfortunate situation happen. A member of the synod staff had been embezzling money from the organization. I’ll admit that many of us were hurt and had (still have) a hard time forgiving this man. However I am reminded of a story where neighbors of this man and his wife invited them over for supper. What a powerful witness of forgiveness and grace! The neighbors wanted him and his wife to know that it was about the act and not them as human beings.

The truth is that we are all created as saints and sinners. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Yet God promises that God will forgive us of our sins if we confess our sins. I am reminded of these words from 1 John 1:9-10; “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.”

As I think about all who have been hurt and experienced brokenness by a leader in the church, I find them (actually all of us;sinners)being convicted in the words we hear in verse ten. The Message translation captures 1 John 1:9-10 so well. “If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins–make a clean breast of them–he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we’ve never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God.”

The reality is that all of us including leaders in the church are sinful beings. We all make mistakes. Forgiveness and grace are marvelous gifts, yet I don’t believe God is telling us to forget the sin. In fact, I think God calls all of us to seek the help, counsel and forgiveness that we need. This is shown to us through this wonderful humble servant leader God’s son Jesus Christ. Jesus was not afraid to sit with tax collectors and sinners. Jesus wasn’t afraid to pick up basin and towel and wash the feet of all God’s people even those who would later deny him and betray him. Jesus’ example of humble servanthood is the ultimate example of God’s grace. And by the humble example of Jesus, we all especially leaders in the church are called to embody a life of humble servanthood too.

“So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!”–2 Corinthians 5:17 (NRSV)

 “Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people–free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free!!”–Ephesians 1:7 (The Message)

**Please note these are my own views and are not necessarily the views of my church.

Read other SynchoBlog posts here:

  • Justin Steckbauer – The Servant Leader: A Radical Concept
  • Mary – Can I Get A Doctor?
  • Glenn Hager – The Man Of God Myth
  • Lisa – Forgive
  • Jeremy Myers – Reconciling Mark Driscoll
  • Peggy Brown – Abi and November’s Synchroblog: Spiritual Abuse and Redemption
  • Edwin Pastor FedEx Aldrich – Shooting Stars: Of Scandal, Abuse, Restoration, and Systematic Failures
  • Liz Dyer – Sorry

    Five Minute Friday: Still

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    I am linking up for the Five Minute Friday  today. The FMF is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Today’s prompt is “Still.” Write for five minutes; unedited.

    The whirl of the Internet pulls me in so often. I find myself checking my Facebook feed, my Instagram feed, or voxing with a friend. It is so hard to find stillness in the midst of a very technology based world.

    Just the other day, teaching Confirmation, I realized how our youth are very unaccostumed to being still. They spend class being very un-still. This generation is so not used to being still. They find themselves busy all the time. I believe it is very important for us to show them that is good for us to be still. I am reminded of the words that we hear God say to us, “Be still and know that I am God.”

    The thing is that God showed us what it means to be still the night Jesus was born. That still night in Bethlehem, Jesus was born reminding us of the power of God’s love for us and the beauty of what it means to be still and take in God’s creation. Perhaps we should take more time to be still and watch the seasons change around us. Perhaps we should take more time to just be still with our friends and family and listen to each other share our stories. Perhaps we should spend more time learning to be still.

    “Be still and know that I am God!”

    A Cute Pair of Boots and J-Lo Jeans

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    I’ve never been a big makeup girl. And I have never been the most popular girl either. In fact, as a child, I was picked on quite a bit. Self-esteem was always one of my weaknesses. When I moved to this new town a year ago, one of my members at church is a Mary Kaye consultant and she asked me to be one of her makeup models one night. So I went and it was so much fun. Shortly before I moved, my friend J even introduced me to Bare Minerals makeup. It was so much fun to get dolled up. Yet makeup is still not a part of my daily routine. I want my future Mr. Right to accept me for who God created me to be…without the makeup, glitz, etc.

    But lately I have been feeling something different. I woke up this morning put on a new pair of J-Lo jeans (the Jennifer Lopez brand which can be found at Kohls) and a button down shirt in my absolute favorite color; green! As I was getting ready, I thought to myself I should wear boots today. I cannot even begin to tell you the last time I wore a great pair of boots. I finished getting ready and dug in my closet until I found those boots. I put on those boots and walked out the door. I felt so good! I even found myself saying “I look cute today.” I also was standing up a little taller.

    I am not sure what has changed my attitude but I like it. I know that in due time, God will bring that special person into my life. There are days that I think that all hope is lost! But the reality is that I shouldn’t lose hope! God is, more than likely, looking for that special someone for me. And it will happen in God’s timing not my own. But at 36 years old, that is not very easy to trust in!

    So as I wait for God to bring that special someone into my life, I will try to remember every day that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I will enhance my beauty in the ways that God wants me to enhance them…that they will come through in my words and my actions. And perhaps donning some makeup and a cute pair of boots somedays might help too.

    Lessons Learned

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    One of my new #write31 days friends asked this question on Facebook this morning, “Almost a week out from finishing the challenge. How did you see God grow you in the 31 days and do you find yourself with a new calling/purpose for your writing?”

    (1) I have seen God use me for a greater purpose. As I have shared my story, I have seen how God has used me and my families story to bless others, to inspire others and to let others know that they are not alone.

    (2) I was reminded how much I am truly a writer. My mom said I was a strange kid. Often times when I was little, I didn’t want a toy. She could give me a piece of paper and a pen and I was a happy camper. Throughout this challenge, I have realized how good it is for my soul to put pen to paper; much like a musician writing a song and putting notes to words. I get to write sermons once a month for my job and write newsletter articles etc. But I haven’t really taken the time to write for me! I have realized how much I missed writing!

    (3) My hope is that I will continue to “find my tribe” and that others will find their tribe as well. It is so cool to find others who simply get me and understand who I am. Pure gift in knowing who and whose  I am. I hope that I can use this blog to help others see that as well and to know that gosh darnit, they are good enough; more than good enough!

    (4) That being vulnerable can be a scary place to be. But by showing my own vulnerability, people see me for all of my experiences; for all of my hopes and dreams; for all of my griefs and losses. And by leading by example, others realize and see how being vulnerable and open can bless all of us!

    (5) I learned a lot during these 31 days but I think my favorite has to be one a friend pointed out to me. She reminded me that I am truly living out the words to Romans 8:28. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” When I flipped my Bible open and read those words, I realized how true that is. It took me a long time to get there but in sharing my story, I have found a way to fully trust in a God who promises to never leave us or forsake us. I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten through life and our struggles without my faith. I know that is not true for everyone but for me, there is such comfort in knowing that I am called and claimed as a precious child of God. Thanks be to God for that!

    (6) I also think in many ways I have found my voice again. At seminary, I had a negative experience in a class by a classmate. (She later apologized and became one of my dearest friends) However that experience caused me to shut down and not think I had anything valuable to say. Throughout seminary and in my calls after, I was able to find my voice. And I continue to find that voice even more each and every day!

    “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”–Romans 8:26-28 (The Message Translation)

    Identity

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    “Tara Lee, you are a baptized child of God; whatever else you are, remember that you are that for that is the basis of whatever else you are.”

    Through the waters of Baptism, I have been called and claimed as a precious child of God. And as a precious child of God, God has given me gifts; given each of us gifts to share with the world.

    It is not easy for us to let others affirm us. In fact at times it can be quite uncomfortable. Yet I believe we are still called to share our stories. A friend affirmed gifts in me by sharing that I am the “light in the midst of the darkness.” I bring a light into dark places. She can name the people and places that I have marked! Wow….what a powerful statement and affirmation!

    Hearing that makes me realize even more how my families story of mental illness is linked together. I am many things but most importantly I am a child of God who is also a daughter of someone who lives and daily struggles with mental illness.

    By knowing my identity, I know that God will always accompany me through those dark places and will never leave me in the pit. God is a great God who makes things new.

     

    A Broken Heart

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    “For I am sure that neither death nor life…nor anything else…will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus”

    I read these words and I know that they are true. Yet at times like this when we hear of another school shooting, I find myself having a hard time trusting in them. Why do some feel the need to resort to violence and death? During times like this, people often ask where was God? I believe God was in the school with those children. However I know that that is not easy to trust in.

    Yesterday as I heard the news of another school shooting, my heart was breaking…and still is breaking. And I am also a little angry. I am angry that our kids cannot go to school and be safe. I am angry that so many are so overcome by darkness that they cannot help but make bad choices. (And yet I am also thankful for those that have gotten and continue to receive the treatment they need!) I am angry that there is such a stigma that so many don’t understand the illness. I am angry yet my anger is overcome by the tears streaming down my face; tears for what my mom has taught me about showing love, tears for all the lives lost in school shootings, tears for the conversations that need to take place in a scared scarred world.

    I want our world to be a better place. Once I find my Mr. Right and I have a family, I don’t want to have to worry about sending my children to school. I want more hope and not fear. I want there to be more love and not so much hate. A friend of mine posted several questions on her FB feed a year again after another school shooting and I cannot shake them. Her questions are in no way rhetorical. They need to be answered. And I find myself clinging to those questions again today. She writes, “We have too many hurting youth, too many kids who don’t have hope, too many kids who don’t feel loved. What are we going to do about this as the people of God? How are we going to speak light into this darkness and hope into despair? How will we show love to all people today?”

    Yes, my dear readers and friends, how are we going to show light in the midst of this darkness and hope in the midst of this despair? How are we going to show love to God’s people today? In the midst of the darkness, I cling to this precious one who was born in a manger in Bethlehem; the one who comes as the light in the midst of darkness, the hope in the midst of despair, and so much more. How do we help show that kind of love to those who are hurting, to those who don’t know love?

    I am reminded of my dear mother who has lived most of my life with a mental illness, yet she is one of the most faith-filled women I know. I swear she would give the shirt off her back. She simply loves unconditionally. She has been an amazing model of God’s love for me and I am so grateful and thankful for that. But I find myself wondering where are those examples for those youth who are hurting and don’t feel loved? How do we show them that they are loved? How do we show them that there is hope in the world? I don’t know the answers, yet I want the answers! And I want those answers sooner rather than later. I want the answer not to be violence. I want the answer to be kindness and love and grace. I want….

    Today I am praying for this one in Marysville who thought their only answer was violence. Today I am praying for Eric and Dylan who walked into Columbine. Today I am praying for all those who lost a child almost two years ago at Sandy Hook. Today I am praying for Adam who felt his only answer was to walk into that school two years ago. Today I am praying for all those youth who don’t feel loved and who are hurting. Today I am praying that we will be able to answer these questions that my friend posted. Today my prayer is simply…come, Holy Spirit, come…help us to show them light and love and hope!

    Click Here for all the 31 Day posts
    Disclaimer: All religious views expressed on this blog are my own
    views and are not necessarily the views of my church as a whole.

    Koinonia

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    This summer while attending one of my favorite continuing education events in the heart of the Rocky mountains, we had a conversation in one of our classes about administering the sacraments to family members and/or friends who have memory loss and can’t always remember who they are. I remember saying that they may not always remember but we need to remember for them. Through the waters of Baptism, God has called and claimed us as God’s precious children. In fact, we are all made in the image of God. “Tara Lee (insert your name here), you are baptized child of God; whatever else you are remember that you are that; for that is the basis of whatever else you are.”

    For Mom, when she was sick and in the hospital, she couldn’t always remember…so we had to do the remembering for her. I would sit and hold her hand; knowing that the touch of my hand would remind her that I/we were there. I would talk to her knowing that she hopefully was hearing at least some of what I was saying. Growing up, I would worship and commune with Mom. I also know that she has been asked to commune when she is in the hospital. I hope and pray that she takes it knowing that she may not remember but that we can remember for her. (I am sure not all of us would agree here, but it is how I feel) In sharing at the table together, we are sharing in “koinonia.” Koinonia is the Greek word translated to mean “communion.”

    And when we gather together in “koinonia,” we see the person not for the illness but for who they are as beloved children of God. I have volunteered with Special Olympics and they continually educate to get rid of the unpleasant descriptions of these individuals such as the R word. They teach us to say, “T lives with a disability” rather than “T is disabled.” In other words, they are not defined by their illness. I think we would do well to use that language when talking about any kind of illness. And when we see the person for who they are which is hard, hard work sometimes, we see their humanity, their vulnerability, their brokenness, their intelligence, their wonder, their awe and their beauty. (Thanks for commenting and leaving this reminder yesterday, C!) I constantly see these things in my Mom and sometimes, if for a brief moment, I forget that she is living with a mental illness.

    Seeing my mom and others daily struggle with a mental illness, it is so important for me to see them for who God created them to be rather than define them by their illness. I think when we are able to do that we can find a greater freedom and grace in our relationships.

    Nadia Bolz-Weber captured this so well in her sermon this past weekend (Nadia is the Pastor of House for All Sinners and Saints in Denver CO) when she wrote, “No matter what, no matter the competing voices or violence or low-self-esteem or anger that comes from a world that simply does not know how to love perfectly. Depression and loss and addiction might create pain and that pain is real. But how good is God that God has protected in you a thing that can never be harmed. And you carry within you the light of God, the Imago Dei – the image of the one who created you and here’s the thing: that and only that is the true source of your value and identity.” (You can read the rest of Nadia’s sermon here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nadiabolzweber/2014/10/sermon-on-suicide-caesar-and-beautiful-newborns/#ixzz3H4tgjUZA)

    I also love what my friend HW said during our class this summer, “When it (HW meant Alzheimer’s disease but I think you could replace it with the words mental illness, cancer, etc as well) strikes, may we listen well to the heart of God, listen well to the heart of the other, listen well to the heart of your own, and try to be Christ to them as they are the body of Christ before you.” Amen, my friend, Amen! Together it is important for us to reach out and to listen well to each other knowing that together we are the body of Christ. And together we “bear one another’s burdens” knowing we are not on this journey alone!

    Together God calls us all to join in “koinonia,” to gather around the table, break bread together, and share in the cup of blessing that God offers to all God’s people who are all made in the “image of God.”

    Out of the Darkness

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    I have
    been doing a lot of driving this weekend. Most of my driving has been in pure
    daylight but last night I found myself driving in the dark. I have never been
    much of a fan of driving in the dark. I think a lot of that has to do with the
    fact that I can’t completely see everything around me or that I have to constantly
    keep my eyes peeled for deer who want to jump out onto the road and could cause
    an accident. However last night I found myself reflecting even more on the
    darkness.
    As I
    looked up in the midnight black sky, littered with beautiful twinkling stars, I
    found myself thinking about what it must be like to be pulled in by the
    darkness of depression or a mental illness. Now I have never experienced it for
    myself, but I have watched friends and family members who have been pulled in
    by the darkness. As I drove, I wondered what it was like for them to be pulled
    in by the darkness. Is it like their lives are constantly lived like they are
    continually driving in the dark; no light in sight? I think often times that
    yes, they are pulled in by the darkness and cannot find their way out…and
    that makes me so very sad. I want to offer them healing and so much that I
    don’t have the power to give them. Yet I know that God loves them in the midst
    of their brokenness and can offer them those things they need.
    God is the
    one who offers light to them…even if that light is just a little glimmer of
    hope. In many ways, it reminds me of a lit candle in a darkened room after a
    power outage. The candle gives just enough light; enough light for us to see what
    is around us; to find our way around the room. God is that eternal light; that
    brings hope to the broken hurting people in the world. Yet so often in the
    midst of mental illnesses and depression, I think that light isn’t always
    enough. Those suffering with those illnesses need more light to overcome the
    darkness that they are pulled into. Yet God asks them to trust him; to know
    that God has the power to bring light, hope and healing into their lives.
    I was
    touched by the following words from writer Anne Lamott. Her words
    remind me; remind all of us that God is with us even in the
    uncomfortableness and that God promise to never leave us or forsake us. 

    “Faith includes
    noticing the mess, the emptiness, the discomfort, and letting it be there until
    some light returns.” 

    So let us
    hold onto hope for and with each other until some of the light returns!
     
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