Love is Complicated!

I joined an (In) Courage group during their last session; thanks to my friend STM! I have loved being a part of this group. Something so holy about finding people that are like me and understand my hopes and dreams and simply get me!

I am thankful for this group but it is still hard in the midst of life to find those who can say “me too!” I have been blessed by some amazing friends yet almost all of them are married and/or have kiddos! I love them and their kids so much but I still wonder when it will happen for me!

There are days I’m so frustrated that this prayer hasn’t been answered for me yet! I want to ask God when, where etc it will happen! But then I realize that that would ruin the fun; the fun of the chase!

Recently I have gone to a few events with guy friends. I’ve enjoyed that time and wonder where God is leading these friendships etc! Why does love have to be so complicated and difficult?

But then I’m reminded that love has it’s hard parts too! This week a friend shared with me that her family’s dog is in his final days of life! She said, the hard part of love is the hurting and the loss!” Oh how true!

So I need to remember that in time, this will happen for me! I just need to remember to be “gentle” with myself! Even when most days that is oh so very difficult to do!

Because in the end, I trust that God will answer my prayer….and that the love that will be given to me and that I will give in return will be completely and totally worth it!

Sunday Blessings 42

(1) My sissy picking me up at church so I didn’t have to walk home in the rain storm.

(2) Baby LAM getting to come home!!!!

(3) DQ with my sister

(4) Finally touching base with a dear camp friend

(5) Running into CT and her family at the state fair. Love her and her family!

(6) Running into KR and having her say that we need to have a girls night with CT

(7) Watching the Enduro races with my sister

(8) Running into RE at the fair

(9) My sister bringing me a lawn mower from my auntie and uncle. Yay now I have my own lawn mower!

(10) Having a colleague from my NWMN days call me to ask my thoughts on Christian Education. Very sweet of him to call me because he thinks I’m an expert! (I don’t claim to be an expert but it sure is nice!)

(11) A great day at the fair with mom and Ann. A caricature; watching Darryl’s racing pigs, and so much more.

(12) Time walking around the fair with EG and Ann

(13) Running into CT and RT before the Florida Georgia Line concert

(14) So much fun with Ann at the FGL concert! Such a blast!!!

(15) A Starbucks Very Lime Refresher

(16) Finally watching Heaven is for Real with my sister

(17) Working the FLC fairstand with my sister and spending more time at the fair! A Tigerlily concert

(18) BRAD PAISLEY concert with my sis and getting to sit with CT and RT!

(19) Perkins lunch with my sis before she headed home.

(20) Simply getting to worship this am since we had a missionary visiting! I don’t often get to just worship so that was a treat!!

(21) Running into several camp friends at the fair. I haven’t seen so many of them in forever!!!

(22) A wonderful post-liturgical nap

Sunday Blessings 41

(1) Helping lead the activity at VBS with the Pre-1st Graders. So much fun!!

(2) A great afternoon and evening with EG–checking out Beer and Hymns, great conversation and so much more! Thanks for a fantastic day my friend!!

(3) A member telling me that I look awesome and to keep it up!!

(4) An awesome fantastic turn-out at S’more Summer Worship. So much fun!!

(5) Blowing bubbles with G and M while their mom was busy visiting with another mom

(6) A fantastic work-out (first time I got there this week)

(7) Lunch with FLC friends as we sampled the burgers for our fair food stand!! Yummy!!

(8) A nice thank you gift for helping lead the activity room at VBS

(9) Fun VBS program and potluck

(10) Today at VBS one of the little preschoolers said to me, “Grown-up, I need help!” It was so cute to hear her call me a “grown-up!

(11) My friends NP and RP began the adoption process almost three years ago. Today they passed court and their daughter is now officially their daughter!! Such amazing news!!!

(12) Working the FLC fairstand and getting to hear Lady Antebellum because we were close by the grandstand.

(13) Fun at the ND State Fair parade. Came home with lots of goodies!

(14) Working another shift at our fair stand

(15) A camp friend stopping to say hello

(16) Sharing a piece of lemon meringue pie with WK during our shift.

(17) Spending time with my friend EG; meeting her hubby; chatting and giving her a tour of my house

(18) A state fair corndog

(19) A text with a sweet pic of LAM

(20) Sharing a piece of sour cream raisin pie with my friend EG

Sunday Blessings 40

(1) A member dropping off a rose from her daughters wedding this past weekend. So nice of her to share with me.

(2) Being asked to go to a play with a friend

(3) Having a good time with that friend

(4) A day of high ropes and boating with some of our FLC youth. It was such a fun day!!

(5) Coffee and conversation with one of my fave people in the world!! Thanks CT!

(6) Getting a phone call from my friend EG. So fun to talk to her!

(7) Finally getting my lawn mowed again. It needed it so badly!!

(8) Getting the HUGEST hug from one of my fave little girls cuz she missed me while I was gone.

(9) A parishioner telling me I looked beautiful today! 🙂 I was wearing the green dress I wore for Zach and Alexis’s wedding last August!

(10) Another parishioner telling me that I enjoy and love everything I do which he thinks is awesome

(11) Finally getting Mt. Laundry tacked!!!

(12) An awesome Sunday lunch; steak and corn on the cob!

(13) A relaxing Sunday

This weeks list is much shorter than the last several weeks. But it is still important for me to list my blessings! Enjoy this weeks list!

Freedom in Our Stories

It was a beautiful summer day and I was working as a camp counselor at one of my favorite places in the whole wide world. I was taking in every ounce of is the experience when I received a message that my sister had called. She was calling let me know that Mom was sick and in the hospital again. Little did I know that in a matter of moments this would be such a freeing experience for me. As I sat on the payphone, tears streaming down my face, several of my co-counselors walked by and wanted to know what was wrong. I couldn’t muster up the words to share my story wth them. I got off the phone and went back to my cabin. Within moments, the camp director came and asked me what was wrong? In a moment, I finally opened up and shared my; our story with him. It was the first time I openly shared about my family’s struggle with a mental illness. And since that moment, sharing my story has been very important to me and totally core to who I am!

It is so hard to share our stories, but there is something incredibly holy about sharing our stories with each other. In sharing our stories, we are connected with others who have had similar experiences. I am reminded of when I began my previous call. I was at dinner with my colleague sharing my story when another individual heard me share one word; a name of a pill that only those that have experienced mental illness would understand. In just moments, my story was connected with her story because we had similar experiences in the midst of our own stories.

Story is incredibly important to who we are as people of God. God created us to share our stories. Yes, I realize that isn’t always easy to do. In fact, most of the time it is darn right impossible, yet when we share our story, not only, are we blessed but I also think those that we share our stories with are blessed as well. Story opens our hearts and minds to know that we aren’t on this journey alone and that there are others who hold us despite our own muddiness and brokenness in the midst of our stories.

So my friends, thank you for sharing your stories with me. And thank you for letting me share my story with you. In sharing our stories, I believe we are freed to be who God created us to be; fearfully and wonderfully made.

Sunday Blessings 38 & 39

(1) Arriving at my destination safely

(2) Singing Happy Birthday to a four year old and having ice cream cake with him and friends

(3) Watching the kiddos play outside

(4) Having lunch with new friends

(5) Listening to awesome music!! I could have sat and listened to them all night long.

(6) A beautiful hike with seminary friends and their families

(7) Leading devotions at LAR

(8) Hosting the chili lights party with my friend

(9) An awesome hike with friends; a little boy wanting to be my friend and hold my hand; so sweet!

(10) A fantastic day with my dear friend SP–Walking, talking, lunch, a stop at Coffee on the Rocks, and so much more!!

(11) A morning hike with TS around Sprague Lake

(12) Finding a few treasures at some fun stores

(13) Being in the right place at the right time

(14) A much needed and well deserved afternoon nap

(15) Being thanked for doing a good deed

(16) Awesome last chili lights

(17) A friend telling me to keep up my writing and also thanking me for being authentic about my moms illness

(18) Spending time with JK, CK and AK! So blessed to have them in my life!! Thanks for driving up from Ft. Collins!

(19) A goodbye hug from a sweet little girl

(20) A fantastic 4th of July even though it was rainy. Thanks to new friends for letting me hang out with them. An awesome parade, driving up Trail Ridge Road, a nice concert and awesome fireworks!!

(21) A great day for a drive; topped off with time in the hot tub at the hotel.

(22) The birth of my dear friend SM’s little girl LM born 5 weeks early! Mom and daughter are doing fairly well but prayers are much appreciated!

(23) Many of my friends welcoming new life into this world.

(24) Friends telling me they miss me! Feeling incredibly loved!!!

(25) A text from a friend that I haven’t heard from in awhile

(26) A safe trip home

(27) Sometimes it is just so holy to be off the grid. But I am glad to be back!

(28) And so much more!!