The Head and The Heart

Things in life dont always turn out the way we expect them to, do they? Since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamt of being a mommy but it hasnt happened for me yet. Most of that is because I havent found my Mr. Right. There are times when I am hopeful but there are also other times when I’m not sure it will ever happen for me! This past Friday on my day off, I found myself channel surfing and I came across the Dr. Oz show which I normally don’t tune in to watch! Friday’s topic was titled “How old is too old to have a baby?” Needless to say, I was sucked totally in. They had panelists on both sides of the issue. It was interesting to listen to their conversation and see where I found myself. It’s a question that I know many are asking! I know that for some it’s about having a biological child so they try everything they can to have that child; IVF, IUI, etc! I also know families who have been blessed by adoption and foster care! Several friends grew up with foster siblings in their homes. A couple of weeks ago a dear friend texted me because she immediately thought of me when she went to a foster care meeting at their church. There is a huge need for foster parents etc. Now I’m not saying this is something I am ready to jump in and do, but it is a conversation that has been re-playing in my heart and mind.

This weekend I spent some time with some dear seminary friends. Friday night I babysat for both couples so they could go out and have an adult conversation/meal without the kids. It was such a blast being with those kids! Love them to pieces…they are so darn cute!!! Saturday morning all of us girls took some girl time. As we were walking through the store, I mentioned to one of them what the other friend had said to me about me doing foster care etc. Again Im not saying that it’s something Im ready to jump into but it is something that I totally find myself praying about. Where is God leading me? It’s so difficult when your head and your heart are trying to sort it all out. My head is asking all the logistical questions and trying to decide what is the best path for me while my heart is so ready to love (but that’s scary too). There also are so many fears and doubts playing into this conversation as well. So for now, my friends, all I can do is pray, pray, pray, pray!!!

(Hopefully this post makes sense! It’s been rattling around in my head for a little while now but I haven’t been able to write it down until now!)

Lets Go to a Movie Friday Five

Thinking of movie-watching, what do you prefer?

1. At home or at a theater? The theater

2. With whom? Good friends and family

3. Movie you look forward to seeing? Joyful Noise, The Hunger Games movie

4. Movie you like to see repeatedly? There are so many! Rent, Because of Winn Dixie, Once, etc!

5. Food with a movie? Totally 100% popcorn!!!!!!

Taking Hold of Fear

“Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).” Or from the Message translation—“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”

Fear is a crazy thing, isn’t it? It can be very debilitating to anyone of us. I think fear often gets in the way of trying new things or even living our lives. Because we don’t know what the outcome will be, we let fear take over but the truth is that God is with us in the midst of those fears. But even in the midst of God’s promise to walk with us, fear still sometimes takes over. A friend recently mentioned the possibility of a change for their family and this friend also mentioned that fear was taking hold. If they take this change on wonderful things could happen, but yet fear takes such a deep hold that we are afraid to go for it! Several other friends are battling cancer and in the midst of that struggle, they are being prayed for and held up by so many yet I know that all of them have had to face their own fears head on.

We need to learn to let that fear go which I realize is is so much easier said than done! But children can be such great examples of this. I think of parents who tell of their children who arent afraid to try anything! Hmmm….maybe we could learn something from them. This got me thinking about my own life. When I have let fear go, amazing things have happened. If I hadnt interviewed at SuperAwesomeBibleCamp, I wouldn’t have worked there for seven summers and never would have ended up at seminary. If I hadn’t gone to tour Wartburg Seminary, I never would have ended up there and made one of the most blessed decisions of my life. If I… If I…If I……

Fear likes to take a hold of all of us but I believe, we must take these words from the Old Testament to heart! God promises that he will never leave us or forsake us. Do not be afraid he says! So perhaps we need to let fear know whose boss and trust in our a God; a God who loves us more than we ever could imagine!

Pinterest, Glee, and Other Meanderings

Sarah Thomson, I blame you!
It is so addicting!
But I love it!

I love using my crockpot to make meals. And Ive been trying to be better about cooking more and not eating out so much. This site has given me some great ideas and I hope I can try at least some of them. There are way too many ideas to try them all! Living in apartment has its downfalls. In my bathroom there is no shelving or drawers just a cabinet so it was fun to look on Pinterest for new ideas/ solutions. Maybe I can make my apartment look a little more homey etc. Im excited to explore Pinterest some more!

In other news, I am such a cryer! Anyone who knows me knows that about me! Tonight I found myself crying at “Glee!” I kept thinking, geez girl, get your act together but that has always been me. I am such a romantic and love happy endings. But sometimes I also think the tears are because of unfulfilled hopes etc. I so am waiting for my Mr. Right and a family. But enough about that, life is so good. I just find myself yearning for those things.

The other day a friend texted because at her church there had been a meeting about foster care and how they really need foster parents at the moment. She said it made her think of me. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you know how deeply I yearn to be a mom etc so when she brought this up, it seriously made me think about the idea. Im going to have to pray about it and see where God leads me!

Recommendations Friday Five

1. Recommend a favorite worship resource or devotional book.  I would recommend anything by Henri Nouwen!

2. Recommend a blog that you like to read that you think others might find enjoyable. Boy there are so many of my friends who love to blog so I think you should read any of my friends blogs! Some blog more than others but they are all worth the read!
3. Recommend a fiction book that you think people might like. Im reading the Hunger Games series….and am loving it!!

4. Recommend a favorite recipe website. O.k., if you aren’t into cooking or food, then just recommend a random website that you find useful, hilarious, mind numbing or thought provoking. Ive really been digging the Pillsbury website. I love this recipe. I made it earlier this week!

5. And for the last recommendation–it’s bloggers’ choice! Make a recommendation for anything! Hmmm….this one is hard! The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother….etc! Matthew West…Chris Tomlin….Jars of Clay…so many of my fave Christian artists!

Remembering Two Years Later….

It seems hard to believe that it’s only been two years since the Haiti earthquake happened. I remember exactly where I was and who I was with when the events of that day and week unfolded. I was a small group leader at the Diaconal Ministry Formation Event in Gettysburg PA. We began that morning talking about prayer (if I’m remembering correctly) and one of the girls in my small group shared one of Ben and Jon Larson’s songs. Little did we know that hours later the earthquake would hit in Haiti. And then only two days later would we learn that Ben was gone! And as I think back to that week, I am fully aware of the Holy Spirit’s presence in the midst of this tragedy.

Today Ben’s wife/my friend Renee and Ben’s cousin Jon are in Haiti; walking with the people of Haiti, that still two years later is trying to rebuild. I began my morning this morning listening to Ben’s version of Psalm 30. Even after his death, Ben still sings! Ben’s words are still heard! Today has been a busy day; conference meeting, conference call, etc, I find myself  FINALLY just taking a moment to reflect and remember Ben and the other 300,000 people that lost their lives that day. I cant help but think of Ben’s words, “God’s peace to us we pray.”

May God’s peace be granted to all of us! May God’s light shine during this season of Epiphany!

Unspeakable Joy Revisited!

Awhile back I posted about a Chris Tomlin Christmas cd where he does the song, “Joy to the World” but interlays it with a chorus he wrote. Two words from the chorus really hit me when I heard the song for the first time. Those two words were “Unspeakable joy.” As we enter into the Ephiphany season, may we always remember the unspeakable joy we find in Christ who tells us who and whose we are. The words from the chorus go as follows: “Joy, Unspeakable Joy, An Overflowing Well, No Tongue Can Tell, Joy, Unspeakable Joy, Rises In My Soul, Never Let Me Go (Copyright Matthew West)” So as I put away my Christmas decorations, I cant help but cling to those words. God never lets us go! God tells us always who and whose we are! May we never forget that!

And since it is so easy for us to forget that I ask you to check out Matthew West’s song on his Christmas cd titled the “Day after  Christmas.” It is a reminder that the light of Christ is with us throughout the year!

A-Ha Moments Friday Five

Please tell us – what are five (more or less) of your ‘A-ha’ moments. Where have you had a moment of clarity?

1. Deciding to go to Wartburg Theological Seminary. I went with a friend to tour campus. The moment I walked onto campus, I knew that God wanted me there. Totally an A-ha moment!

2. Going to work at Camp of the Cross. I didnt think they would hire me but they did. And then they couldnt get rid of me!

3. Starting this blog and continuing my passion of writing. As well as finding a local writing group at the local library.

4. That sometimes you just have to be spontaneous and try new things.

5. Hearing my call to Diaconal Ministry. Im totally not called to “Word and Sacrament” ministry but rather “Word and Service” Ministry!


New Year’s Eve 2011

It’s New Year’s Eve 2011! Once again I find myself just chillin’ at home….and somehow Im ok with that! 🙂 My Dad and I had a nice NYE dinner tonight. C was working so I was Dad’s date for the night! LOL! We had shrimp, prime rib, potatoes, and green beans! It was yummy! Then C came home and we watched Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin Eve on tv! So super exciting….LOL!

What word would you use to describe 2011? For me, it’s blessed! Blessed to meet new friends, blessed to spend time with family and friends, Blessed to serve a congregation I love, Blessed to have such great colleagues in ministry, blessed, blessed, blessed!

And as I look towards 2012, I find myself thinking about what my hopes are. I continue to hope to find my Mr. Right and start a family. Im so ready and I know it will happen when I least expect it but it’s so much easier said than done. I hope to save more money. I hope to spend more time with my family and friends. I hope that they find a cure for cancer. I hope that those that are battling cancer are able to beat it. What are your hopes for 2012?

Happy New Year my dear friends and readers!
May your 2012 be filled with many blessings!