Well tonight I cant help but think of the people in Louisiana, Mississippi, and the surrounding areas that were hit by Hurricane Katrina. May God be with them all during this time of loss, devastation, grief, etc. They have been through so much and I pray that God continues to wrap God’s loving arms around each of them. But now onto another issue brought about by these hurricanes……looting. (It is not my intention to upset or offend anyone here. I am just trying to vent about something I heard someone say earlier this evening). Looting is going to take place because these people need to survive. They need food, bottled water, etc and yes, they are going to go into stores to try and get it. I guess earlier on some of the news channels. They showed people taking purses, tvs, etc. Now part of me doesnt understand this but another part of me says why not, these people need to rebuild. However looting is not the issue here, it is a issue of racism. Tonight many of the pictures shown were people of color taking things. Now I for one dont care what color skin these people have because we have all been created in God’s image. However Im extremely upset with a family member who wants to call them niggers and etc. It hurts my feelings to hear him talk like that. Can he not put himself in the twenty-first century? I love this family member but am extremely offended by the words he used to describe these people. This area of course is the South and the South is highly populated with people of color. Doesnt mean because they are of a different skin color that they are poor etc. Okay enough about all of that. I just had to get that off my chest. Honestly my thoughts and prayers are with ALL PEOPLE in this area. I pray that God may help them to rebuild. I pray that the water soon starts to subside or that they can get the water to go down. I pray that God provides food, safety, shelter, and whatever else they need to these people. I pray that God is with them in the midst of their sorrows but I also pray that God helps them find moments of joy and gladness too. It is the little miracles that I believe will sustain and help the people of these areas move on. And after all this said, I just hope you all go home and tell your family that you love them. We never know when today may be our last.
So I’ve been slacking. Its been almost a week since my last entry but life is good today. I got an email back from the ELCA headquarters that gave me promising news about my call process. I was worried that since I wont be approved by the Aug 25 deadline that I wouldnt be able to go through the Sept draft but turns out that as long as everything is in before Sept 2 which is the day that everything gets shipped off to the Bishops than I can still be in this process.God definetely is a knocking on my door and sounds like I will be ready when he comes a knocking. YIPPEE!!! Another note a seminary friend of mine who is a new pastor here in town emailed me a job opening here in GF. It is for Youth for Christ. They are looking for a drop-in coordinator. Basically that person would be in charge of their teen center, planning activities, and getting volunteers. Pastor Tony thought it sounded promising for me and it made him think of me so I emailed the executive director. He emailed and asked for my resume which I emailed to him. He said he would call but he still hasnt called so wondering whats up with that. Im just not sure how I feel about it because it might be great for me but it might not and I really would like to be closer to home especially to my mom but part of me is ready to wander and be rooted where God needs me to be rooted. In fact, I have finally decided that no matter where God sends me I will go and my mom will be okay. She will be a phone call, a car ride or plane ride, or whatever away and the place she lives at takes such good care of her. My sister got good news this week too. She got offered a position at a public school in Yuma which is so much better than the charter school she is currently teaching at. God definetely does answer our prayers. Back to me though. Life is pretty good. I am happy. Ive made some great friends and today I realized what you all meant by people being blessed by me. Ive been blessed so much by them but today they told me that they had been blessed by me too. God definetely has blessed me with a gift and I treasure that gift more and more every day as I think of all the people Ive met along the way. Well got to go. Bitty, my aunt and uncle’s cat, is meowing at me to let her outside so got to let her out!
I hate being bored. Lately though I find myself being bored often, which means Im thinking about life more and more because there is nothing else for me to do. Okay thats probably not completely true but you get the picture. I have been thinking a lot about the call process and my call in particular. I have to be completely honest. I am scared out of my wits. What if I dont get everything in on time? What if I never find a job? So many questions are popping up in my head. I am trying to be brave and all that good stuff but I finally decided that I better let it all out because otherwise I might explode with fear etc. So thank you for letting me vent to you all. My life is so hanging in the balances right now and it is hard to know which way God will lead me next. I know I should follow my own advice and just Give it to God, Trust in God, etc etc etc but right now I am finding that really hard to do. My mind is constantly wandering and wondering where God will lead me. I know God will lead me to the place God needs me to be but how can I trust in that when I am so worried that it wont work out? What if I didnt learn enough? What if I dont have the gifts to serve in Word and Service? See now Ive been thinking too much about this and am constantly asking myself the “what if” questions. I guess I just need some reassurance that this will all work out in God’s time but only God can give me that so please help me, my friends, to know that God will make sure it all works out and that I just need to continue to trust in him. Thanks for letting me vent my friends.
So my title probably has you wondering doesnt it? I decided to tell you about one of my adventures and not about how much I miss WTS and all of you. Well I suppose I wont hold you in suspense any longer and will explain the title. Now how many of you have seen the movie “Rain Man” with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise? I would say probably most of us. Well tonight I had the opportunity to meet KIM PEEK. Kim is the inspiration for the Charlie Babbitt character. Thus the Kmart line for the movie had to be used as my title. Dustin Hoffman even spent time with Kim to get some ideas of how he interacted etc. The movie, of course, is not a true portrayal of Peek but it does have some of his characteristics. My aunt got us tickets to go. Kim is absolutely amazing. You could name your birthday and he could tell you what day of the week it was, what it will be this year, and what it will be when you turn 65 so you can retire. Pretty amazing. He memorizes tons of things etc. I asked him about Dubuque IA. He told me that it was in Dubuque County near Jo Davies county. Also that the area code is 563 and that you take Hwy 20 or 61. He also talked about the movie Field Of Dreams and how it was taped in Dyserville etc. He basically knows every zip code, tv station, and area code for any town. People were naming little towns in ND and he got them correct. He recited from memory 10 of his favorite Shakespeare lines. It is truly amazing what he can do. If you want to learn more about Kim, check out the book his father wrote titled The Real Rain Man or google his name and it will take you to some cool sites. Guess thats it for now. Off to bed for me. Miss you all lots and God bless!!
I was excited to get home tonight and read what happened at the ELCA Assembly today. However I must say when I saw the result of the vote, I was not surprised to see what happened considering what I had seen and heard as of late but yet I was hoping for the best. I was hoping that my friends who are homosexuals in the ministry would be recognized by the church. As I sat reading the news articles, I was saddened by what I read. How can we decide what God wants for these individuals? I know so many people who are gifted with the gifts of ministry but because they are homosexual are not recognized by the church. That saddens me! Who are we to say who can and cannot share the message of Christ based on sexual orientation etc? Right now I cannot even think of the words to say to express how I feel about what has happened. I understand that this is a different generation etc but doesnt that call for us to look at the Bible and Scripture in a new context? Does Scripture not say to treat each person equally? Is this church not founded on the fundamentals of grace? Well I am so upset right now that I cannot think of anything else to say so this will have to do for now. I pray that God is with these individuals that are fighting so hard to be leaders in the church and I ask God to give them strength during this time. I also pray for God to be with this church and to ask them to see these people for who they are as beloved children of God and not by their sexual orientation.
You know life can be so strange sometimes and I am definetley feeling that way at this moment. I was just reading one of my friends blogs and he is talking about how he feels like he is stuck between two worlds. Yeah know exactly what he is talking about because I am stuck in that place myself…stuck between two worlds and not sure which way to go. Yes, I am glad to have graduated and stuff but I am grieving my friends from that place immensely. At times, I wonder what they all are doing. Do they still think of me? Have they forgotten me already? I guess it is just a place God calls me to be at this moment and time so I ask God to be with us all that are standing in two worlds. In this world yesterday, something great did happen. I was given an opportunity at a local church to finish my congregational hours. The coolest thing is it is a pilot program for kids with disabilities….which of course is my area of interest. How strange! God definetely works in mysterious ways. I guess that just makes me say YAY GOD!! YAY God also for bringing such wonderful friends into my life that I have had a hard time leaving and am still holding on to. YAY GOD FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL BLESSINGS AND GIFTS!!!!
Poetry is a huge part of who I am so since no one gave me any ideas on what to write about yet, I thought I would share some of my work. This poem was written to the people of Wartburg Seminary when I graduated from there. I know some of my readers have never heard it since they were on internship so I thought I would share that. I will share something about my mom or life or something at a later date. Hope you enjoy this poem!!
I am hot and sweaty right now. I sure hate humid weather but that is not the reason I came in here to post a blog on my blog. As some of you know, I LOVE to write poetry and have kind of been slacking in that area as of late. But for some reason tonight, I am feeling inspired but have no ideas what to write about. I often write about stuff that is on my mind…feelings, thoughts, etc. It really is one of my main ways to outlet. So any ideas from my readers, anything you think I might want to write about? Also was wondering if anyone would like to read some of my stuff? I have a binder full of my poetry. And for a little tidbit of information, ever since I was a little girl Ive loved to write. If I was bored, my mom said all she had to do was hand me a piece of paper and a pen and I was content. I also would love to be an author someday. However I do have a published piece in a poetry anthology from poetry.com. Well guess thats about it for now.
I love life so much. I realize how precious life is and just what a wonderful gift God has given us in life. Who would have ever thought that our lives would be so valued but lately I have just realized how special and precious my life is…and all of our lives. Life would not be the same without God’s wonderful creation. My life would not be the same without my family, my friends, the world etc. Life has brought me such joy and I wouldnt change that for anything. Sometimes I think we forget what an awesome gift life is. So many people spare their lives for this country and other reasons. I guess that just had made me treasure my own life and the lives of my friends, family, etc. Life has made me realize the value of so many things and I pray that we all can see the value of our own life especially when we are feeling down and out. Growing up I wasnt always the most popular kid, in fact, I was teased a lot and many times I was sad, depressed, frustrated and didnt value my life too much. If we all focused on the value of life more, maybe when we were teased etc, we would realize that our life is a gift and we dont deserve to be treated that way. I guess thats it for now. Not much else to say. Just wanted to share my thoughts on life. Why is life so precious to each of you? I am sure there are many who have thought about this topic as well. Feel free to chime in!!
So not that long ago I finished watching Real World on MTV and boy in just a few short seconds, life seemed so real to me. One of the guys got the call that his mother had passed away. Danny blamed himself for not being there etc. Danny immediately begin to regret coming to Austin etc. Now as I think of the reality of this situation, the first word that pops out at me is regret. Being that my mom has lived with a mental illness all of my life, I have often reflected on that word quite a lot myself. So many times, I wished that God would just take her away to make the pain go away etc. But then later, I regretted the fact that I even thought that way or even said it aloud to some of my own friends. Regret has a way of creeping up on us when we least expect it. Today on my friend Mark’s blog, he asked for advice for his friend who wanted to tell her staff at Bible camp something during their last week of the summer and again I immediately was taken back to my days at camp. Where there things I could have done better? Again regret. Now I think of the show tonight and the first thing I want to ask for is for God to help me cherish the moments and the things that I have done but not to dwell so much on my regrets. I pray that God helps us all to not dwell on our regrets but rather helps us through those difficult moments. Any thoughts from anyonelse on this topic.