The What If Game

I hate being bored. Lately though I find myself being bored often, which means Im thinking about life more and more because there is nothing else for me to do. Okay thats probably not completely true but you get the picture. I have been thinking a lot about the call process and my call in particular. I have to be completely honest. I am scared out of my wits. What if I dont get everything in on time? What if I never find a job? So many questions are popping up in my head. I am trying to be brave and all that good stuff but I finally decided that I better let it all out because otherwise I might explode with fear etc. So thank you for letting me vent to you all. My life is so hanging in the balances right now and it is hard to know which way God will lead me next. I know I should follow my own advice and just Give it to God, Trust in God, etc etc etc but right now I am finding that really hard to do. My mind is constantly wandering and wondering where God will lead me. I know God will lead me to the place God needs me to be but how can I trust in that when I am so worried that it wont work out? What if I didnt learn enough? What if I dont have the gifts to serve in Word and Service? See now Ive been thinking too much about this and am constantly asking myself the “what if” questions. I guess I just need some reassurance that this will all work out in God’s time but only God can give me that so please help me, my friends, to know that God will make sure it all works out and that I just need to continue to trust in him. Thanks for letting me vent my friends.

1 thought on “The What If Game

  1. Tara! I miss you! I found your blog through Andrew’s. I’m sorry I didn’t manage to see you this summer. It’s good to see you’re blogging, it’s a good way to vent and exercise the writer within. I hope all is well with you. You know, I admire you for the perseverance you’ve shown going through seminary and seeking to fulfill the purpose God has called you to. I feel blessed to consider you a friend. I’m confident that God will be with you and guide you and know that you are in my prayers. peace to you.

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