Something really hit me the other day…..I said something that I honestly couldn’t believe I was saying out loud. I know how I feel but I often tend not to say much. I don’t want to offend or hurt someone. So heres what happened. Good friends of mine are expecting their first child any day now. Now don’t get me wrong….I am sooooo excited for them!! I can’t wait for them to have their child. They will make awesome parents just like the rest of my friends. The other day a bunch of us got together for a picnic and it was so fun. We played this awesome board game and then decided to call it a night. Many of us had an hour or more to drive to get home. My friend was talking about baby in her stomach and things like that. One of our other friends said something about it weirding her out. And then I uttered these single words, “it makes me sad.” I think I startled her with my response because she didnt expect me to say it. I honestly was surprised that those words were uttered OUT LOUD! I know how I feel. I am so ready to have a family etc but its hard to explain and share with others when they aren’t where Im at. In some ways, it felt good to release those words because it is how I feel when Im not sure if it will ever happen for me. However I dont want to diminish my friends excitement either. I totally am excited for them!!!!!! I just wonder when it will happen for me too! And I find myself wondering why I uttered the words that I did?
I think all relationships are give and take. I don't understand what you're going through, but realize that we have to respect each other where we are. Thanks for sharing.
A few friends have expressed those same sentiments in conversations with me too over the years, and it didn't/doesn't bother me one bit, I love the honesty being out there, and I'm sure your friends are understanding and empathetic as well. I remember saying those kinds of statements as well in conversations with friends that had husbands and babies ahead of me. You shouldn't feel bad about expressing yourself, there's nothing wrong with saying that you're a family and baby person and that you're anxious to get to that stage too and that in the meantime the waiting is hard on you.
I usually respond to my friends with commiserating and saying "I remember feeling the same way once too", because it is awfully hard to wait for the marriage and baby stage of life when oneself is such a family centered person.
Sometimes as a group of friends we are at different stages in our journey through young adulthood and we need to be very mindful of that with each other (whether it's college, career, home ownership, marriage, babies, promotions, etc.)
Hugs,
Jenn K.