Tag Archives: writing

Write 31 Days Withdrawal

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Withdrawal=”the act of taking back or away something that has been granted or possessed” or “the discontinuance of administration or use of a drug.”

Have you ever experienced withdrawal from something? Perhaps it was giving up soda or sweets or something. Maybe you know someone or have watched someone withdraw from drugs. The only experience I have of watching someone withdraw and detox from an abused substance is on MTV with Dr. Drew. Yet from what I have seen, withdrawal is not an easy thing. In fact, it can get pretty ugly!

I don’t know about you, my Write 31 Days friends, but this past week, I have found myself wanting to read your blogs and write more posts myself. But what I have found is that it is pretty quiet over in our neck of the woods. It seems like many of our wells have run dry. I think I am going through Write 31 days withdrawal! Anyone else with me?

Throughout the month of October, every day we must post. If the words are there, great. But if the words are not there, we must keep on trucking through. In addition, many of us interacted on the Survivors Facebook page and read five other posts which we promised to comment on, share, etc.

Yet now here we are, ten days into November and I keep finding myself wanting to go back to October. I want to gather with my friends and read their stories. I want to know that I am not on this writing journey alone. I want to be reminded again and again that my words are enough! The truth is that I know these things are true, but it seems harder to find them and believe them this month. It is as if my ability to write has been snuffed out in an instance.

In addition, my words are not the only thing I am missing. I am missing the community and the people I have met. I came across this quote this morning on Google: “The most addictive drug is a person. The detox takes the longest. And sometimes the withdrawals never stop.” Hmmm!

I am sure that in time the words will slowly begin to flow more freely again! I am sure that I will find other outlets and projects to share my words. I am sure that soon I will feel like I am no longer going through Write 31 Days withdrawal. And I know that even though, we are resting from our words, we all will return to share them again.

Like the breath in our lungs that gives us life, words also give us writers life as well! Without our words, we cannot go through this life NOT sharing our words. “Write until it becomes as natural as breathing. Write until not writing makes you anxious”

I am linking up with these lovely faith-filled women today:


 
 
and at Literacy Musing Monday

Liebster Award

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Good Morning dear readers and friends! This is a fun post to start off our week. My sweet friend Carrie who blogs at Living with Unspeakable Joy nominated me for the Liebster Award. Carrie and I “met” through the Five Minute Friday Snail Mail Party. In fact, we have been on two of the last lists together. According to an Internet search, the Liebster Award is given to bloggers by other bloggers. The word Liebster comes from German origin and has many different meanings: ” dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, welcome, sweetheart (and yes even boyfriend. Really?) I don’t know about you but I rather like that list of definitions! 🙂
Now onto my questions…

1. How did you come up with the name of your blog? I have always loved the prairies of North Dakota. Spending time on them is holy time for me. And on the prairies of North Dakota, you cannot help but feel the effects of the wind which always reminds me of the Holy Spirit. I wanted my blog title to say something about who I am as a beloved child of God and where God has called me to be. I also love to pray for others. For the last five years, I have prayed through my Facebook friends list for Lent. So together prayer and my beloved prairies of North Dakota led to creating my blog title: Praying on the Prairie.

2. Have you always been a writer? I actually laughed when I read this question, because I have not always seen or called my self a writer. Yet I have been working my way through Kate Motaung’s book discussion and link-up for the book “On Being A Writer.” I am learning that I am indeed a writer. And if you ask my momma, she would tell you that, when I was little, I was one of those kids who just needed pen and paper and I was a happy camper. So I guess, yes, I have always loved words and have always been a writer! (Did I really just type that? I must really be growing into my identity as a writer!)

3. What do you hope to accomplish with your blog? I want my blog to be a space where others will be encouraged. I want it to be a space that shows God’s love, grace, and mercy to the world. In fact, I want God to use me and my words to bless God’s people. I want people to know that there is power in hearing the words “me too.” I want my readers and followers to know that they are not alone.

4. What is your favorite holiday and why? Oh boy…this is a hard one to answer. I love lots of holidays. But my favorite holiday would have to be Maundy Thursday. Now I realize not everyone celebrates this holiday, but it holds a special place in my heart. On that night, Jesus stooped down and washed the feet of his disciples. As a woman called to word and service, called to pick up my own basin and towel, this holiday reminds me of my call in the world and reminds me that I am called to reach out to ALL OF GOD’S PEOPLE!

5. Name three words that Jesus would say describes you. Sweet, caring, tender-hearted.

6. Who is the biggest influence in your life? MY MOMMA! My Mom had a nervous breakdown right after my younger sister was born. My mom has never let her illness get in the way of who she is: a beloved child of God. She is one of the most faith-filled woman that I know. She could have easily turned away from God, but instead she just turned closer to him.

7. What are your favorite books? Oh man I have so many so I thought I would share a list:
“Let’s All Be Brave” by Annie F. Downs
“Pastrix” by Nadia Bolz-Weber
“Confessions of a Prairie Bitch” by Allison Arngrim (played Nellie Oleson on Little House on the Prairie)
“Love Wins” by Rob Bell
Anything by Wendell Berry
“Bossy Pants” by Tina Fey
“Bread and Wine” by Shauna Niequest”
“Silver Linings Playbook”
“1000 Gifts” by Ann Voskamp
(AND MANY MANY MORE!)

8. Where is one place you would like to travel? I have always wanted to travel to Scotland. I thought that would be a really cool place to visit. I haven’t traveled outside of the United States except for Canada. I really would love to go just about anywhere. I have international seminary classmates that I could visit. I have always wanted to go to Germany to see all the Lutheran sights.

9. What are you passionate about? I am passionate about quite a lot. But really I am passionate about reaching out to all God’s people. I am passionate about sharing my family’s journey with a mental illness. I am passionate about showing God’s love to all God’s people especially the downtrodden and outcasts among us.

10. If you could meet anyone, who would it be? Hmmmm…JESUS! 🙂

11. What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given? “Show them your heart!” When I left my last church to take a new call at my current church, a bunch of them told me to simply “show them my heart.” In showing them my heart, they knew they would love me for who God created them to be. And they were so very right.

I hope you enjoyed the answers to my questions. Here are my 5 nominees:

Christy at Just a Thought…
Valerie at Tales from a Southern Catholic Momma
Tammy at Sincerity and Hope
Sarah at And So I Give Thanks…
Karrilee at Abiding Love, Abounding Grace

Here are your questions my friends:
1. How did you come up with the name of your blog?
2. Have you always been a writer?
3. What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?
4. What is your favorite holiday and why?
5. Name three words that Jesus would say describes you.
6. Who is the biggest influence in your life?
7. What are your favorite books?
8. What is one place you would like to travel?
9. What are you passionate about?
10. If you could meet anyone, who would it be?
11. What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given?

Don’t forget to check out these blogs. I am so blessed to call these women my friends! 🙂

September 11, 2001

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The aroma of baked potatoes and cabbage cooking in my crock pots are filling up my house. The sounds of the television are on in the background. It is a beautiful Fall like day here in North Dakota..about 70 degrees. And as I sit here taking in this gorgeous Fall like day, wrapped up in my favorite quilt, I can’t help but think back to this day; fourteen years ago. The day that cowards flew planes into the World Trade Centers and the Pentagon. It is a day that forever changed history! And since that day, our lives have never been the same!

It was a Tuesday morning. I had just graduated college that previous May and was living at home as I tried to determine where God was calling me next. I was full of so much hope. Yet little did I know that the events of this day would be a megaphone for where God was leading me next. I was curled up on the couch watching episodes of Little House on the Prairie when our Dad walked into the house. He asked if I had on the news and I said no. He told me to turn on the news, so I grabbed the remote and changed the channel. The images on the screen were gutwretchingly painful. I could feel the pit in my stomach and saw the looks of disbelief on my Dad’s face. I desperately wanted to turn the channel back to Laura Ingalls, but I couldn’t. Neither of us could. We were paralyzed by the events unfolding in front of us.

And while those events were unfolding on our televisions, new lives were being born into this world; into a world that had been changed in just a few moments. I think of my friend Emily who was in labor with her daughter Liz on this day. As Liz celebrates her 14th birthday, her mom can’t help but remember what was going on outside her hospital room and the hospital walls that day. I have a feeling Emily and a lot of moms held their children closer and didn’t want to let them go.

For the weeks after, it seemed the world was a better place. We were kinder to each other. We were more respectful of each other. We held our loved ones even closer. We even clung tighter to our faith. Yet today, it sometimes feels like we have forgotten the days following 9-11. We aren’t always so nice to each other. We take life for granted. And my friends, I don’t want that for us. I want us to remember…remember those lives that were lost that day…remember the light found in Jesus Christ who is our one constant.


Not a month after 9-11, I found myself touring Wartburg Seminary with my friend Pauline. From the moment, I stepped on that campus I felt God calling me into ministry. I wasn’t sure what that ministry would look like, but I heard God loud and clearly that day. God was calling me to be a woman who would pick up basin and towel and wash the feet of all God’s people. God was calling me to show Jesus’ example of servanthood to the world.

Not only did my life change, but all of our lives changed on that horrific September day. In the words of my friend Katie M. Reid on her Periscope today, we write to remember! Indeed we do…we write to remember! And so tonight, I write to remember all of those who lost loved ones at the World Trade Centers, or at the Pentagon or on Flight 93. #Wewillneverforget!!

(This link will take you to a poem I wrote four years ago for the 10th anniversary of 9-11. I hope you enjoy it. It is one of my favorite pieces I have ever written! Ten Years Later by Tara L. Ulrich)

Staring Back at Me

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Little did I know that when I began this blog, that this space would become exactly my mirror staring back at me. In this space, I have written about being a daughter of someone who daily struggles with a mental illness. I have written about the joy I find in playing and spending time with children. I have written about my deepest desires asking “How long, Lord? Oh how long Lord?” I have written about friendships that only God can orchestrate. I have written about who and whose I am!

Last October, when I joined the Write 31 Days challenge, I never would have imagined how healing my series would be for me, but it healed wounds that I didn’t even know where still there. It opened up my world to others who have blessed my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined. And to be honest, writing our story down was and continues to be one of the bravest things that I have ever done. Because even yet today, our journey of mental illness ebbs and flows. There are days I am proud of who I am, proud of where I have come from, but then there are days, that I wonder why us, why our family.
A year ago, during the Write 31 Days challenge, I penned the words below (in italics) after completing the Write 31 Days challenge. Even looking back at them now, I realize how vulnerable I was. In the words of Ann in this chapter, I never realized how desperately I wanted and needed to share our story. Ann writes: “I desperately wanted to understand myself, unearth who I was meant to become. And deep down, I wanted to write.” Yep, I wanted and needed to write! Yes, there have been times when I was afraid to hit the publish button and there are other pieces of our story that I have held close to my chest. But unearthing our story led me to realize how brave and strong my Mom is, but also how brave and strong I am as her daughter.

An excerpt from Praying on the Prairie originally posted on October 31, 2015:

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope”–Thomas Merton


“Saying yes to the situations that stretch you and scare you and ask you to be a better you than you think you can be”–Annie Downs; Lets All Be Brave; P. 107

I am reminded of a word “eucharisto.” It is a word that my colleague shared with me a year ago in his sermon on the day I shared with the congregation that I was leaving and had accepted a new call. In that sermon, my colleague talked about listing our blessings and thanking God for all the things God gives us. He later told us that the word in the text for ‘thanksgiving’ is translated ‘Eucharisto.’ As I sat there and listened to his sermon, I found myself reflecting on that word. And today I find myself clinging to that word again.


As I sit here this morning and reflect on the last 31 days, I find myself once again clinging to that word ‘eucharisto.’ This write31 days community has blessed me in more ways than I can count or even imagine! Today I am so very thankful for each and every one of you; for you who shared your stories with me, for you who told me how my story blessed you, and for each of who ventured to participate in this challenge. So today I am uttering these words back to you my dear friends, ‘Eucharisto!’


And as I give thanks for each of you, I am also very thankful for my momma. She has been through so much. Yet she is one of the most beautiful faith-filled women that I know. Our story of mental illness will always be a part of who my mom is and who my family is. I hope that through these 31 days, I have been able to let so many know they are not alone. I also hope that I have been able to share our story, and shatter, at least, some of the stigma associated with mental illness. Thank you for reading my story and walking with us through these 31 days because I am a daughter; a daughter of someone who daily lives and struggles with a mental illness. And the truth is I will always be that daughter.


I am and always will be that daughter. This summer was a great summer, but it also was crummy too. While I was in Colorado, Mom ended up in the hospital. The doctor diagnosed her with a urinary tract infection. She was released from the hospital and seemed to be doing well. Only a few days after I returned from Colorado, I got a call saying she had gone to the doctor again. They said it was still the UTI and after time, she would be fine again. Then on our way back from the National Youth Gathering, I got a call from the nursing home yet again. Mom was adamantly asking to move (which made no sense because she loves it there) This was a side of Mom that we had not seen. No answers…and only more and more confusion. While my sister and I were on our sister’s trip, we got a call asking to move her. We were adamant about her not moving, yet there seemed to be no solution. With much hesitation, we gave permission to move her to a new facility. She seems happy there, but still is not the Mom we have known and loved. I only have more and more questions and no answers. My prayer is that soon Mom will return to her old self and will be able to move back closer to me. (Instead of 45 minutes from me, she is now like 4 hours away).

Like our story continues to ebb and flow, I am realizing how healing it is for me to share our story. I sit her with my cup of tea, talking to you like an old friend. And I take comfort in knowing that this old friend knows me and our story. (I also have dear friends that I can do this with in real life too!) And as you listen, I find myself leaning in to tell you more of my story.

In telling my story, I find that it is also important to play. I love holding infants. There is something so holy about holding that little life in my hands. On Monday, I made a pit stop to see a dear friend and her new baby. It was just exactly what the doctor ordered. This weekend, I was able to spend time with my family. I helped my aunt put up veggies from my Grandma’s garden. I sat and broke bread with my dad and sister at the cafe downtown. My sister and I laughed and smiled as we learned how to use our new selfie sticks.

But, the most joy was playing with our brand new farm puppy Kotee. Kotee loved all the attention my sister and I gave him. He was a little wound up by the time our aunt and uncle headed back to the farm. (Sorry P and T!) The best was seeing how much grandma enjoyed Kotee. Recovering from surgery, Kotee brought joy and peace to Grandma. He was the best medicine for her! And seeing that reminded me, reminded all of us of the importance of remembering to play.

As we remember to play, I am reminded of how life too ebbs and flows. It has its ups and its downs. It has its moments of ordinariness and extra-ordinariness.

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.’–LR Knost

Taken Way Too Soon

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A life taken way too soon….

I don’t think we will fully understand why….
It will be 15 years this December….
It was a frigidly cold December day in Bismarck, North Dakota. I was gathered at lunch with many of my communication major friends when our friend Amber came walking into the lunch room. I could tell by the look on Amber’s face and in her eyes that she did not hold good news. She walked directly up to me and said, “Have you heard? Chewy is dead.” He committed suicide.
I was in complete shock. How could this young 23 year old man be gone? How could he no longer be a part of our world? What had happened to cause him to commit suicide? I had no answers…only more and more questions.
After lunch, I went to the front desk to work. The minute I arrived at the front desk I pulled upon the newspaper and turned to the obituaries. Amber’s words weren’t going to be real to me until I saw his name in the obituary section of the paper. My fingers fumbled through the paper and finally landed on the obituaries. And sure enough there was Chewy’s face and name staring straight back at me. (Chewy’s Obituary)
Since I was working at the front desk, I held back the tears. I didn’t want other students to see my vulnerability. The minute my shift ended, I ran back to my dorm room. I opened the door, slammed it shut, pulled out my photo album which I opened to a picture of Chewy from the end of the previous school year, and held it in my hands. The tears slowly began to stream down my face and before I knew it, the tears wouldn’t stop and it felt like all of the oxygen in my lungs had been sucked out.
I had gotten to know Chewy through the theater program at the University of Mary. I remember one time in particular when he showed up with bouquets of flowers for all the girls in the play. It was such a sweet gesture that is forever ingrained in my memory. I remember being at a retreat, tears flowing down my cheeks when he simply let me cry on his shoulders. He was the person who gave me the nickname “Smiley”. (For the longest time, I wouldn’t let anyone call me that. It seemed wrong to let anyone else call me that name after he had given it to me!) These memories of Chewy are the memories that I chose to cling too. Yet there was a side of Chewy that I never saw. Chewy struggled with alcohol and other addictions which is ultimately what probably took his life.
Trusting in those promises, we gathered in the college chapel to remember Chewy’s life. The day his funeral was held out of town a nasty North Dakota blizzard blew through the state, so it was good that we were able to gather together as a community to remember this young man. As we mourned this young man’s life, it was life-giving to laugh and cry together. I finally began to feel like I was getting some air back in my lungs.

Today, Chewy and I would be about the same age. I wonder what his life would look like if he was still here on this Earth. I wonder if he would be married, with a family. I wonder so much about what might of been. And then I am reminded of the words to one of my favorite Bible verses: “If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lords (Romans 14:8).”

My prayer is that by sharing Chewy’s story and the story of so many who daily struggle with addictions, mental health issues, etc that perhaps at least one life will be saved. Will you join me in Suicide Prevention Week this week?

This post is dedicated to my college friend Michael “Chewy” Chewakin. 
May you continue to rest in peace, friend!

I am linking up with some of my favorites: Holly and Testimony Tuesday, Angie and the RaRa Linkup, Holley and Coffee for your Heart, and Jennifer Dukes Lee and Tell His Story:


 
 


Hitting That Send Button

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Joining in with the online discussion on the book “On Being A Writer” by Ann Kroeker and Charity Singleton Craig. Today we are working through Chapter 6: Send.


Newspaper print laid out on the table, cutting and pasting the articles into their place. In High School, I spent much of my time on our school’s newspaper. It was a way for me to write articles and share my love of writing in another way. After high school and college, while at seminary, I joined the Persistent Voice. The Persistent Voice is a newsletter that is “an ongoing conversation between men and women at Wartburg Seminary; Dubuque Iowa that  reaches across the world.” As a member of the staff of the Persistent Voice, I had several poems and articles published. I gained more writing, editing, and publishing skills.

However, I never though much of having those items published because I was on the staff and was a student at the seminary. After while, I got braver and started submitting writing material to other places. I submitted a poem to poetry.com for their poetry anthology. I was pleasantly surprised when I received a letter saying they would like to publish my poem in their anthology. I purchased a copy of the anthology to share with my friends and family. (You can find that poem here: Tribute to New York Rescue Workers)

Over the years, while serving in Minnesota, I began submitting my work to a few literary contests. I often would ask my friends and family for their input. I would carefully select my submission and email it off. The waiting was always the hardest part. Often times when I saw the submission place in my email “from” line, my heart would skip a beat as I clicked on the email to open it. My eyes would scan the email to see what they thought of my piece. Every time it was rejection. One can only experience rejection so many times, so every time my heart and ego became a little more deflated.

I have learned to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep writing. Last April, I was out with some colleagues when one of them asked a question. I popped onto my work email to check out the information for them. As I was looking for that email, another email caught my eye. I quickly found the information we needed and then I went back and read the other email that had caught my eye. It was from a respected blog that I read daily asking if they could republish one of my blog posts on their site. I replied that indeed they could republish it. I can’t even tell you how giddy and excited I was. Several of my seminary friends and colleagues have had their pieces published on this blog too. It was finally MY TURN! (Living Lutheran: You are Seen)

And, suddenly, I didn’t feel so scared about hitting that send button.

What I Learned in August…

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I am linking up with Emily Freeman’s monthly link-up for the first time today. You can check out all the posts over at Emily’s Place.

Things I learned this month….

(1) Spending time with my sister is the best! Growing up together, we were pretty good at fighting and to be honest, sometimes we still argue with each other. But there is something so incredibly holy about spending quality time together. Our Nashville sister’s trip was AWESOME and is not one I will ever forget. I love my sister so much and the time we spent together is something I will treasure for a very long time. I need to be better about spending time with those I love.

(2) “I am an imperfect person loved by a perfect God!” This image came across my Instagram feed and spoke straight to my heart. I am indeed not perfect…none of us are…but we are loved by a perfect God. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made!”

(3) That twelve years after someone has passed away, my heart still aches so deeply for them. I was cleaning in my guest room when I came across the bookmark of my Grandpa’s obituary. As I read and remembered, the date (August 21) hit me straight in the gut because it was on that date twelve years ago that we celebrated his life at his funeral. Grandpa Sam was such a caring wonderful man. I miss him each and every day.

(4) Sitting on my deck. sipping a Starbucks Refresher, and reading is a place where I truly experience peace and Sabbath. I finally finished “Orphan Train”, started “Searching for Sunday” and have so many wonderful books on my to read list “For the Love” “Wild in the Hollow” etc. Since summer was so busy, I didn’t get to spend time reading on my deck a lot so I have been making up for lost time this week.

(5) Periscope. I recorded my first Periscope video today and have watched several friend’s Periscopes. I have enjoyed listening to and seeing in person the people whose blogs I often read. But I still feel like I have a lot to learn.

(6) VOXER! Can I say more? I love that I can talk to many of my blog friends and hear their voices. I seriously cannot get enough of this app.

(7) It takes a lot of people and work to get a hot air balloon up in the air. Some church members called me a week ago and asked if I wanted to help them launch a hot air balloon and chase after it. This members brother-in-law/uncle owns the hot air balloon. As they sprawled out the balloon and many held on to it, I ran the fan and helped to fill it up with air. We drove around following the balloon so we could be there when it was ready to land.

(8) A community of writers and friends who get my heart and who I feel like I have known forever. I am so blessed that I got to meet several blog friends in real life while my sister were in Nashville. It is hard to put into words how much these people mean to me. My dear friend Karrilee said it best on her blog when she wrote: “You just may find that you have found your people strung across the world wide web and you so connect in heart and spirit that distance doesn’t feel real. Yes. This. Thank You, Internet, for this!” Amen and all the yeses to that!!!

(9) I am so incredibly LOVED! Some days it is so easy to forget that, but God has orchestrated some amazing friendships in my life and family who remind me how loved I am. I’ve been so surprised and humbled by the comments I have received on my last Five Minute Friday post. I love you all so much too! (See also #8)

(10) I love music! Being in Nashville was awesome. I cannot carry a tune for the life of me, but I love listening to new music. In Nashville, we got to hear all sorts of music including one of my all-time faves Vince Gill.

(11) Prayer really does work! Now I have known this before and have prayed many times for others, but I was reminded again of the power of prayer. I shared a prayer request and so many of you responded with your prayers. God heard those prayers and our prayers were answered. So how might I pray for you this week friends? I would love to return the favor.

So, my friends, this is what I learned throughout the month of August. See you in September!

I am linking up with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky, Holly for Testimony Tuesday, and Kelly for the RaRa Linkup.

 

Being Drug Out of My Writing Chair

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Joining in with the online discussion on the book “On Being A Writer” by Ann Kroeker and Charity Singleton Craig. Today we are working through Chapter 5: Write. 


“A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word to paper.”–E.B. White.

But what do you do when the writing can be the hardest part. Yes, I realize that if I am going to call myself a writer, I must sit down and actually write….but some days that can be so much easier said than done. As the Director of Home and Family Ministry at a church, the words I write might be a sermon, newsletter article, Confirmation lesson etc, so when it’s time to write on the blog that can be hard to do.

As you already know, I still have a hard time calling myself a writer, but I am getting there. My mom has told me stories about how when I was little, I didn’t ask for a toy, but rather pen and paper. I was content to pour my words out in stories and characters even at a young age. Little did I realize what an impact words would have on my life.

Words, in many ways, became my lifeline. In English class, I loved when we had a writing assignment. When I went off to work at SuperAwesomeBibleCamp and told our story of journeying with mental illness for the first time, words became my prayers lifted up to God like hands raised to receive. At seminary, I struggled some. But it was a seminary professor who realized my love of words and poetry that helped me finally pass his class as an independent study. We would tape our conversations, I would go back and listen to them, and then I would come armed with my questions during the next class time.

Words continued to be my oxygen as I used them to share my family’s journey with a mental illness. But it really wasn’t until I joined the Write 31 Days challenge last October, that I realized how powerful my words were for me and for others. It is the one time that I truly sat down and wrote every single day. It is the one time that I felt like I found my sweet spot. It is the one time that I realized how there is so much power in hearing those words “me, too.” In my own words, I was able to breathe easier, because without being able to share my/our story, it felt like I was alone.

Even though I have found that my words do make a difference, there are still so many times when I get distracted; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. (Can anyone else relate?) I scroll through FB looking for that quote that I saw earlier and want to write about. Before I know it 30 minutes have gone by, I still haven’t found that quote and I still haven’t written ANYTHING. It is so easy to let the world around us distract us too.

Sometimes I think it is so easy to get distracted because I am striving for perfection (Anyone else shake their head at Charity’s words: “The second reason we resist sitting down to work is we want our writing to be perfect!”) I will find anything in my line of sight to help me procrastinate because so often I get caught up in the comparison game. That blog is prettier than mine; she writes so much more eloquently than I do etc. But then I read these words from Charity and I am convicted: “We have something to say that can come only from us.” Only I can tell my story of being a daughter of someone who daily struggles with a mental illness. Only I can tell my story of being a single 36 (SOON to be 37) year old who yearns so very deeply to be a wife and momma. Only I can tell the story of who God has called ME to be.

Trusting in that promise and knowing that my words are valid, perhaps someone just needs to drag me out of my writing chair to show me the surprising places where my words have and will show up!

Surrounded by Amazing Bloggers and Friends

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Joining in with the online discussion on the book “On Being A Writer” by Ann Kroeker and Charity Singleton Craig. Today we are working through Chapter 3: Surround–I surround myself with people, activities, and books that influence my writing. I am so very thankful for the friendships God has orchestrated this year as I have been surrounded by amazing people, places, and things!

These words echoed in my ear as I read them this past weekend. I find I surround myself with people, places, and things that help me to live this quote out in my daily life. I surround myself with amazing friends and family who allow me to talk about things in my life that I am currently thinking about. Sometimes our conversations lead to a blog post.

I also surround myself with awesome books. I have always loved books and continue to love books. Long before I read Ann Voskamp’s book “One Thousand Gifts,” I began a Sunday series on my blog titled “Sunday Blessings.” But after reading Ann’s book, my series was even more solidified. Each week I keep a list on my phone of the blessings I encounter and then post it on Sunday evenings. I also read Annie F. Down’s book “Let’s All Be Brave.” That book led to a blog post after I read it in just a few short days. That book is a book that spoke to me especially this year since “brave” is my one word 365 for 2015. I recently picked up “Wild in the Hollow” by Amber Haines, “Searching for Sunday” by Rachel Held Evans, and “For the Love” by Jen Hatmaker. Books all recommended by other bloggers. I also am currently reading “Orphan Train.”

But, not only, do I surround myself with books, friends, and family, I find myself surrounding myself with more and more bloggers. Because I have come to realize that these people are “my people.” They remind me of the gifts that I bring. They challenge me to be a better writer when I read their posts and want to sound as elegant as they do. But mostly they understand me and what I write about…God, faith, my family, my friends, singleness, mental illness, yearning to be a mom and wife, adoption…and the list goes on and on.

I met many of these woman through the Write 31 Days challenge last October. I spent those 31 days writing about “Being a Daughter: 31 Days of Mental Illness. I met Theresa Moma because her 31 day series was about her battle with depression. I met Dana whose words are always so beautiful and speak straight to my heart. And as the year went on…I have met others through the snail mail party and through Five Minute Friday. And I actually wait for new posts from so many of these people. (Susan, Bethany, Tammy, Melissa, Anna, Kate, Jen, Janel, Karrilee, and so many more. I wish I could list you all! I love you all!) Karrilee and I have so much in common that it could only be a God thing that our hearts have been united. And I believe that about all of the other woman as well. Only God could orchestrate these surroundings for me!

Each week, I often link up with some of my most favorite writers. These are writers that I want to to be more and more like. I am so thankful for the many who have shared their testimonies of faith over at Holly’s place every Tuesday. I am so thankful for Kelly and the RaRa Linkup over at Purposeful Faith. Some of the best cheerleaders in the world! I am thankful for Holley Gerth and Coffee for your Heart. But, to be honest, my most favorite of all is the lovely Jennifer Dukes Lee. Jennifer always writes words that speak to my heart. And the funny thing is she attends the church where a seminary friend was their intern. Jennifer’s words always weave together like a beautiful tapestry of words. I want my words to do that too! 🙂

There are so many more that I could write about, because I feel like each of them in their own ways surround me with stories and words that help me to write especially when I am feeling like I have NOTHING to say! I think there is so much power when we can inwardly and outwardly share our stories. I wouldn’t have met so many of these wonderful people if I hadn’t decided to be vulnerable and share my family’s story of mental illness. I wouldn’t know how to live if people like Andrew and dear Kara Tippetts didn’t share what it is like to live with an awful illness. May dear Kara rest in peace and may we all surround ourselves with people, places, and things that help us to answer the question on the header of Kara’s blog: “What will you do in the mundane days of faithfulness?”–Martin Luther.

Finding Your Voice

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I am linking up for the Five Minute Friday. The FMF is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Today’s prompt is “Find.” Write for five minutes; unedited.


I heard the word prompt tonight and I immediately knew where I was going to go with this word. This post is dedicated to those who feel like they have lost their voice, thought they never had it or just simply can’t find it at the moment.

As a writer, I think it is so easy for us to get caught up in the comparison game and to think we don’t have anything important to say. But the truth is we all have something to say. We all have different gifts. We all have a story worth sharing. There is power in hearing those words “me too!” Yet fear has a way of creeping in–fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of—and giving us laryngitis.

Though God has a way of giving us our voice even when we think we have nothing worth sharing. I am reminded of how in Scripture we hear the words: “Ask and it will be given to you; Seek, and you shall find; Knock, and the door will be opened onto you.” God has a way of giving our voices back to us especially when we ask for God to give us the words we need to speak.

Yet there are also going to be times when we think we cannot find our voice at all. It is especially during those times that I believe we will need to trust each other. We will have to give words to each other’s stories as we speak for each other. The truth is that God sent Jesus to be a voice for the voiceless…to speak for the downtrodden, the lost, and the vulnerable. And in our own vulnerability, God calls us to give voice to each other’s voicelessness.

“In life, finding a voice is speaking and living the truth. Each of you is an original. Each of you has a distinctive voice. When you find it, your story will be told. You will be heard.”–John Grisham