Have you ever wanted something so badly? I know we all yearn and want things that we can’t have, but then there are things that I think we all yearn for that I wonder if we are meant to have. Tonight as I am typing this, I am watching the show “Private Practice.” On the show, Dr. Montgomery is trying everything she can to have a child of her own. And to be honest, I find myself in her shoes….in my own ways I am Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. I yearn so much to be a mother and feel totally called to motherhood. And I wonder if that is what is meant for my life. Last week as I watched “Grey’s Anatomy,” I also found myself also feeling like Dr. Meredith Grey. The one thing all these characters have in common is that they are trying to be mothers and that is something I yearn so deeply for. Im not sure why…perhaps its because I have an amazing mother who is the most amazing women despite living with a mental illness all her life. Perhaps its because I love babies so much or because I seem to have that motherly touch. Just a few days ago I was talking to a colleague and her grandkids and they were telling me how the baby doesnt like strangers but instead of crying the baby smiled at me!
A couple of weeks ago my colleague and I had this conversation about if I ever think about being a mom and the possibilities of that happening in today’s society even if I dont find my Mr. Right. Since that day, I have found myself really reflecting on that. And then a friend told me about two single friends who have ventured into motherhood through IVF or through adoption. And then another friend who is married and has two children already told their families news that they are planning to adopt from Bulgaria. Two of my dearest friends from seminary also have adopted. And I find myself asking, Why are people telling me these stories now? Is God trying to tell me something? Is the Holy Spirit working in my life to show me that I can be a mom someday if that is what I so desire? All I know is that whatever God is calling me too….God will walk with me on that journey!