Know Thy Self

This post was inspired by a fruitful conversation I had today at lunch with a colleague/trusted friend!

It’s something that I have thought about a lot over the course of my life. As many of you, my faithful readers know, I have lived with a parent who has lived her whole life with a mental illness. Mom has never let her illness get in the way of who she is and living her life. She is one of the most faith-filled women I know! However she has lived in a nursing home/assisted care facility for almost the last 15 years. The conversation started when my colleague asked a very in depth question which led to an even more in depth conversation!

We started talking about family of origin stuff! It got me thinking about myself and who I am! I often times get emotional when sharing my story but as we talked it came to my attention that it wasn’t necessarily about mom’s illness but rather the things I have lost in the course of that illness. Her illness is part of my history and is deeply rooted in who I am as a person. But what exactly does that look like? And why am I the way I am etc?

As we talked, this dear colleague/trusted friend made me realize that I have gained so much from my mom. She is one of the most faith filled woman I know. She is kind and compassionate and caring. (Which he pointed out are some of my deepest traits as well!) But the reality is I have lost things too(which isnt bad just different!)How would life be different?

As my mind spins and continues to process our conversation, I am so thankful for the conversation. I also am thankful for some words that were bestowed upon me during this conversation as well. He told me about a Greek word (which I am blanking on at the moment) which basically translates “Know Thy Self.” Wow……powerful insightful words…how true is that for all of us. How critical are we of ourselves? So critical and yet God places people in our lives who bless us beyond words…beyond ways we could ever imagine. I am reminded of a conversation I had with a dear friend who told me “You dont realize how much of a blessing you are to others.” (Hmmm…..perhaps God was trying to enlighten me to who I am; to who I was created to be through this friend!)

May we all strive to “Know Thy Self!”

My Mom Cracks Me Up Sometimes! :)

This girl is so ready for spring!!!!!! I usually am one who likes something about all the seasons but I am so ready for spring to be here! Even though the sky is blue somedays, it is still soooooo cold! I am ready for it be above 0! I love that my mom is happy at her nursing home. She has many friends there and I would never move her but sometimes it seems so far away. I always try to visit her over Christmas but because of the horrible weather, I didnt get there this Christmas. Mom still has my Christmas presents and my sisters. She calls me almost every Friday to see if Im going to come visit her. I want to so badly but the weather just hasnt been decent enough for a five hour drive especially for someone who drives alone. I love the drive but not when it is snowy and/or icy. One of these days I will get there….maybe in two weeks! 🙂 But for now, Mom is just making Christmas last longer. But another note, my mom cracks me up sometimes. A couple of weeks ago she called to see if I was coming and I told her, “No.” We were having a great conversation and I was explaining how it would be so much easier if I didnt have to drive that far alone. Out of nowhere, my mom replies, “You have a boyfriend. I know you have a boyfriend.” I was trying so hard not to laugh. I simply replied, “No Mom, I dont have a boyfriend. I think you would be the first to know.” It made me smile….and chuckle! I know she wants grandchildren, wants me to find someone special and to get married but she will just have to wait along with me! 🙂