To my dear friend who is getting married tomorrow, I so wanted to be with you and celebrate your day with you tomorrow yet life got in the way. I’m sorry I won’t be there with you as you say I Do to your best friend. I won’t be there to see you all glitzed and glammed up. I know there will be many celebrating with you tomorrow. Please know part of my heart is with you even though I’m not physically there. I am so thankful for your friendship and am thankful you have found your beloved; your best friend. Sending loves, hugs and prayers to you tomorrow my friend. Love this friend who is sad she won’t be physically there with you but who will always be there in Spirit.
Anyone who knows me knows that I wear my heart on my sleeve? Yet there are times when I don’t always feel like that is the right time or place to wear my heart on my sleeve. However what I have come to realize is that my blog is a safe place…a safe place to lay my heart out on the table. I’m not always sure that I do that here though. My dear friend Anna who blogs over at Girl With Blog has opened my eyes to seeing my blog as that safe place. She has been so open and honest on her blog like we are standing in her backyard chatting over a white picket fence. 🙂
My purpose in blogging tonight isn’t to discredit the absolute joy several of my friends are feeling this week. Rather it is to share in that joy while also grieving that it hasn’t happened for me yet. Two of my dear friends from when I worked at SuperAwesomeBibleCamp got engaged this week. A couple weeks ago a high school classmate also got engaged. Honestly I want to share in their joy yet there is a part of me that has a hard time doing that. I think of my friends who have struggled having children and others around them aren’t struggling to have another child at all. I know it’s not the same thing but I think those feelings are probably very similar to what I feel.
As a 34 1/2 year old woman, I am so ready; so ready to settle down and have a family. Yet I also don’t want to rush into it either. I trust God will bring that person into my life when the time is right. However a lot of the time my inner three year old wants to come out; my inner three year old that wants to lay on the floor kicking and screaming because I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANT! (Can you picture it now?)Now I realize that is probably childish and I in no way have ever or will ever do that. Yet I have yearned for Mr. Right, for a family, etc for as long as I can remember. So tonight I ask you my faithful readers; my on-line friends; to help support me as I continue on this journey. Grab a glass of wine or whatever your drink of choice is this evening, find yourself a snack and let’s sit back and support each other–let us wipe each other’s tears but also let us laugh and rejoice together!
It’s hard to believe that one of my best guy friends is getting married this next weekend. It is kind of strange that he is getting married but I am also super excited and happy for him. This gentleman has blessed my life in more ways than I can imagine or even begin to count. He jokes about how I am the “older sister” he never wanted and I joke about how he is the “younger brother” I never wanted.
The truth is there have been times in my life when “younger brother” has really been there for me. I can think of one time in particular when my mom was sick and in the hospital. It happened my senior year of college. It was later in the evening like 9 pm or so when I got a call letting me know that my mom was in the ICU in said-town. Her lithium level had gotten too high which caused her kidneys to shut down. I quickly ran to the computer lab in my dorm and sent a quick prayer request email. I wasn’t in my room more than five minutes when “younger brother” called. He tried to get my mind off of it by making me laugh. He even prayed for me and my mom and our family. “Younger brother” has always truly cared about me!
The woman he is marrying is one lucky lady! “Younger brother” truly cares for people and has a deep faith in God. I am blessed that he is in my life. I know this isn’t goodbye but definetely feels a little bittersweet. Thank you for being such a good friend “younger brother!” God bless you and your bride as you begin your life together!