Thank You Kara Tippetts!

The sun was streaming in through the windows of my house. At 2:15 pm, I opened my phone to her website and clicked on the link to watch the live stream of her memorial service. I watched as Jason and their children walked into the sanctuary. I listened to the musicians play beautiful music. And I especially listened to the words that were spoken at the beginning of her service. A man (I am not sure who exactly he was) came to the microphone and said “Welcome.” But then he proceeded to share how that seemed so impersonal. Because Kara was one who would take your hand and put it over your heart, entering you into her heart. And just as Kara was taking hold of your hand and placing hers over yours, her hand was also being quietly grasped into your heart and you didn’t even know it.

Those words that he spoke are so true. I may never have met Kara. But through her words, through her vulnerability, through her heart, I got to know this beautiful child of God. A child of God who ventured to share even the hardest darkest pieces of her life. And because she shared her story with so many of us, she indeed grabbed our hands and placed them over her heart and at the same time entered into our hearts. And because she shared her whole story, many around the world gathered to laugh, to cry, to mourn and to grieve this beautiful child of God this afternoon.

Tears streamed down my face as I listened to Kara’s memorial service. But then it was 2:45 pm and I needed to leave. I grabbed my shoes and slipped them on. I grabbed my car keys and walked outside. The sun was beating warmly across my face silenting reminding me of the beauty of this world. I opened my car door and sat down. I placed my phone in the cupholder and drove to the hotel where my friend and her family were staying. The whole time Kara’s memorial service played on my phone.

I pulled up to the hotel. I turned off the livestream; wishing I could listen more but knowing that the video would hopefully be uploaded later. Before I went into the hotel, I wiped the still wet tears from my face and reflected for a moment. Then I walked through the front doors of the hotel, turned left, went down the hallway and turned right into the pool area. I found my friend sitting at the table and her daughter happily playing in the swimming pool. I haven’t seen this friend in quite a while so we sat and visited while her daughter played. While we chatted, I watched the children and families all playing so happily. Deep inside, my heart was breaking for Kara’s family as they were at that same exact moment saying goodbye to their beloved wife and mother. But I also know that because of Kara’s own words and own examples that she would want me to be with those near and dear to my heart. She would want me to continue to “love them hard” so that is exactly what I did.

After about an hour, I came home to my house. I tried to get back onto the live stream but it was finished. I laid my phone down on my coffee table and turned on my television. A couple of hours  later, I opened my front door listening to the first Spring rain falling. The aromas of that Spring rain wafted over me and I stood holding my screen door wide open, the rain falling lightly upon my face, and my head resting on the door looking up to the heavens; looking up to where Kara now resides and continues to tell her whole story. I stood there for a few more minutes letting the rain wash over me and then I looked up to the heavens and simply whispered, “Thank you Kara Tippetts.”

It was a simple thank you, but it is one that I believe many of us are saying to her and to her family because she shared her whole story with us. May we too, in the mundane days of faithfulness, remember to love big, to be vulnerable, and to share in the midst of even the hardest darkest places as well as in the most joyful places.

To read more of Kara’s journey, go here: Mundane Faithfulness. If you would like to help support the Tippett’s children, the family asks that donations may be sent to:

Jason Tippetts
P.O. Box 49727
Colorado Springs, CO 80949

I am linking up with Barbie Swihart for the Weekend Brew and with Anita at Blessed but Stressed for Inspire Me Monday. 
                                                             

To Remember….

Remember=”to have or keep an image or idea in your mind of (something or someone from the past)”; “to cause (something) to come back into your mind;” “to keep (information) in your mind;” or “to not forget something.”

This morning I woke up and immediately began to “remember.” Five years ago today, the earthquake struck in Haiti. My friend Renee (we worked at Bible camp together), her husband Ben and Ben’s cousin Jon were in Haiti when the earthquake hit. Ben lost his life that day. It is believed that his last words were breathed as he sang the words “God’s peace to us we pray” and then it was silent.

I was in Gettysburg Pennsylvania that January day. I was a small group leader for the Diaconal Ministry Formation Event (all diaconal minister candidates are required to do the formation event.) My small group and I were talking about prayer that Tuesday morning when one of my students said she wanted to share a song with us. She pulled it up on her laptop and we strained to listen to this beautiful song. The song was song by Jon and Ben and talked about “hands parted after prayer like cups raised to receive.” (The words were  words of a poem that a seminary classmate wrote). So that morning we listened to the song and than later that afternoon we found out that the earthquake had taken place. Immediately my IM box was popping up with messages from friends letting me know that Ben, Jon, and Renee were in Haiti for a J-term class and that they had not been heard from yet.

For several days after, as you can imagine, there was much confusion. On Thursday morning, one of my students and a dear friend called and asked me where I was. I told her my hotel room and she asked if she could come to me. The minute I hung up the phone that morning I knew that something was wrong. Shera came to my door and informed me that it was confirmed that Ben was gone. We cried and held each other. We proceeded to breakfast where we were asked by the rest of our group if we had heard anything. Shera couldn’t get the words out. I was on auto-pilot and all I could keep repeating was “Ben’s gone.” From breakfast, we gathered in the chapel and worshipped together. When it came time for communion, tears welled up in our eyes as we recalled the words from the song we had heard just a few mornings before “hands parted after prayer like cups raised to receive.”

After worship, we all went to our small groups. My small group was in charge of leading worship that night. The girls decided that they still wanted to continue with our original plan; to sing the song “Freedom is Coming” etc. We made one small change; to play Ben’s version of Psalm 30 as individuals entered into worship that night. “Weeping may come for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” (Now you understand why this verse has become one of my faves). The next day, at the airport, we found a blog post where someone posted Ben’s sermon from his senior year at Luther College. It talked about how the song “Freedom is Coming” was one of the most influential songs in his life. (Anyone else get goosebumps. I know I did that day…and still do!)

It is hard to believe that it has been five years today since the earthquake hit. I found myself waking up this morning. My cell phone clock confirmed today as January 12th. Grief has a way of swooping in and declaring to us the date even before we realize what day it is. Today I was reminded of that again. Immediately I took a breathe and began remembering.

And throughout the day I was continually reminded of the promise of hope and Resurrection. A couple of friends texted to say they were thinking of me today. I went to start my car this morning and an envelope was taped to my driver’s side window. I opened the envelope. Inside was a note talking about how it wasn’t it much but hopefully it would brighten my day. With the note was a McDonalds gift card. Then from there, I got to spend the day with one of my dearest friends and dear colleagues as I headed to our YouthWorkers meeting. We spent the day talking about the ELCA Youth Gathering this next summer and tips we wished we knew when we went for the first time. Tonight at Curves, I shared the story of Ben, Renee, and Jon and the promise of hope and Resurrection.

And today Renee and Jon are married and expecting a baby. What a beautiful promise of hope and Resurrection! Ben’s music still lives on. (Check out the website Ben Still Sings) Another reminder of hope and Resurrection! And for me Psalm 30 especially Ben’s version will always hold a special place in my heart. It is currently playing as I type this post and it is such a breath of fresh air for my soul. It is a song that continually reminds me of the power of hope and the power of Resurrection. (However sometimes grief does sneak in and cause the tears to flow…today is one of those days)

Mourning into Dancing (Click here to listen to Ben’s version of Psalm 30)

For All The Saints…

Growing up I never experienced much death. I don’t remember attending a funeral with my parents. I do remember others getting out of school for a grandparent or another family member’s funeral. I remember thinking I was fortunate to still have my grandparents etc in my life.

Then that all changed. My dad’s dear friend lost his wife. My good friend lost her mother. I remember walking into that sanctuary with my family. I remember feeling many raw emotions. My friend’s mom was so good to my mom; a dear friend who was always there for us and none she was gone. And like my friend I had many questions; What happened? Why did she die?

After that experience it was several years before I experienced someone in my life dying. This time it was my grandfather. I remember driving hours and many miles so my mom and I would be at the funeral. I remember seeing Grandpa laying so still in that casket. I remember crying and grieving the loss of this dear person in my life. I remember at the cemetery laying the urn next to his own mom and dad!

Almost five years ago, my best friend was laid to rest. I remember picking up my phone and hearing the words from her mom. I miss her every day. And then about three years later we laid Grandma to rest as well. And then over the last couple of years my cousin has had to lay her little children to rest as well.

In January of 2010, I wept and mourned as I heard about the Haiti earthquake. My friend Renee was there with her husband and her husbands cousin. And soon we learned that Renee’s husband Ben had lost his life. A life cut way too short. I found myself grieving for Renee but also grieving for the losses she would experience because of Bens death.

My heart aches…aches for all those relationships that have been lost. Yet I am reminded of the words to Psalm 30 “Weeping may come for the night, but joy comes with the morning!”

These beautiful saints are blessings in our lives and I am glad that God placed them in my life. I’m thankful for all that they taught me. And so today I say thank you for these saints in my life; these saints who now from their labors rest; Renee, Sam, Bess, Maia, Jack, Arlys, Mandy, Shan, Ben, Reinie, and so many others.

These saints have made a difference in my life. And there are so many still here who have made a difference too. So as another bloggy friend suggested, ” Who are you going to let know that they have been a blessing in your life?”

Community in the Midst of Sorrow

Our faith community is hurting! And as we are hurting, we are also remembering our own losses! We cannot not remember the other losses: the losses in our own life!

Earlier this week a dad (a member of our church) passed away unexpectedly leaving behind his wife and three children: a 7th Grader, a 4th Grader and a 2nd Grader! My heart hurts for this family!

And yet in the midst of this tragedy, I have seen God in work through our family of faith! Things as simple as bringing them toilet paper and other paper products, bringing them food and simply wrapping them in love and prayer! (I hope they are feeling this love and prayer!)

I keep coming back to the Romans text where it says: “Whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lords!” So true but it is hard to trust in that promise when hurting so deeply!

More often than not, a hand on the shoulder or a shoulder to cry on is all we need to know that we are surrounded by love and community! There is something incredibly beautiful about a community founded on our own faith and God’s love for us! So for now, the best thing we can do is be community; holding each other in the midst of pain and sorrow!

A Little Late- Hope for the Weary (Last Post)….

I went away on a wonderful continuing ed event but I started a little blog study before I left and want to finish it. I am so thankful for my friend Anna for posting about Hope for the Weary mom on her blog. Even though Im not a mama, it has blessed me too! Thanks for that Miss Anna!

Chapter Six—“Sometimes It Takes An Altar”
Of course, I have wanted to walk away…to walk away from my dream to have a family and to be a mom. But then God finds this way to remind me that I am not on this journey alone. God will not let me down! Boy aint that the truth?!?! But when I get down and start feeling Eeyorish, it’s really hard to listen to that voice of God. And thats when I need that altar…that place where I can totally feel God’s grace, peace, love, and most especially presence! For me it might be as simple as walking the aisles of Target like my friend Anna or simply spending time at my favorite place in the world;SuperAwesomeBibleCamp! I’ve knelt at the altar of God in an airport waiting at my gate for my flight. This happened in January of 2010 when my friend Renee lost her husband Ben in the Haiti earthquake. Another place that I have experienced this place is in the Rocky Mountains. There is just something so holy about the Lutheran Academy of the Rockies and being in a place where I can feel, see, and experience God’s presence. It is a place that gives me life again and again. Another place for me is the prairies of ND…hence the blog title! Where are those places for you?

Chapter Seven (The End)—“When Life Hurts Too Much”
Loss and grief is not a topic any of us like to talk about. However it is something we all experience. And most of those experiences bring us completely and utterly to our knees. My friend Anna and her husband J went through way more than anyone should go through to finally get their precious Sam! I remember grieving with all of my friends who have tried so hard to have a family and havent been able too. And then there is me, who wants so badly to have a family. I grieve being a mama! I know it may sound selfish and also maybe makes me feel a little dumb but its the truth; its my reality!
Will someone ever call me mama? Will I ever get to hold that precious infant in my arms and know love that only a mama can explain?

What I have come to realize in the midst of this study is that being a mama is hard work. Mamas grow weary yet God gives them the strength! I may grow weary waiting for my dream to come true but the truth is God gives me strength too. I just need to be patient, to trust in God who is faithful and true!(That is easier said than done most days though!)

We Are The Lords

Romans 14:8; “If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lords.”

I’ve been thinking about this verse a lot lately. I think of Christina Taylor Green the young girl who was killed in Arizona. I think of Ben Larson and the people who died last January in the Haiti earthquake. I think of my cousins two little babies. I also think of those that are battling cancer and other illness. It seems every day I hear another story that reminds me how blessed I am to have good health, good insurance. But yet these individuals remind me of why this verse is so AMAZING! You see,things happen in life that we can’t explain or understand. We still ask that age-old question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” But the beauty is that God loves us so much and in this verse, God reminds us that we are God’s beloved children and that we will always be God’s children. God will never leave us or forsake us (despite how hard we may try to escape him when we cant understand why this or that is happening to us or our loved ones!)

My newsletter article focuses on this Bible verse. Check it out at the link below!Romans 14:8 Post This verse is an amazing reminder for us all!

Sleep in Peace, Sweet Baby Boy

I love spending time with my Wartburg friends and other colleagues in ministry. What a gift that time together is. In another note, if you could say a prayer for my cousin, her husband, and their baby Jack. Jack was born in April and was at home for four months before he had any signs of anything being wrong. His little lungs and heart have just been struggling. Jack went up to heaven sometime this morning. He is now with his sister Maia. My cousin lost her first baby too. I feel so bad for them and hope they can find some answers as to why both of her children went to heaven before they were a year old. Please pray for healing for all of them! Thank you!