Tag Archives: Gungor

Beauty out of Brokenness

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Have there been times in your life when you have just wanted to scream enough? Or perhaps a time when you tried to make sense out of what was happening in life? I know, that for me, it has probably been more times than I have cared to admit. In fact, throughout our journey with a mental illness, there have been times many times when I have questioned God. And lately, in the midst of too many cancer diagnoses, it is a question that I keep asking over and over and over again.

As a woman of faith, my faith is something that I always cling to and hold on too. But when I begin asking those hard questions, I wonder if I am being a very good christian at all. But then I am reminded that like Jacob, we have a God we can wrestle with. God sees us as both saints and sinners.  For me, knowing that I am able to give myself grace when all I want to do is scream and cry and continually ask God “Why?” is a gift only God can give me and all of us in the midst  of our hard questions.

Earlier today, I was listening to my Pandora station when the song “Beautiful Things” by Gungor came on. The first stanza reads “All this pain; I wonder if I’ll ever find my way; I wonder if my life could really change at all; All this earth; Could all that is lost ever be found; Could a garden come up from this ground at all.” From the first time I heard that song, its words have held a special place in my heart and today they brought me such sweet comfort. Because God does take dust and make it into beautiful things.

As my friend Laura lives her last days on this earth, I am reminded that soon she will be free from all that ails her (as she reminded us in her latest carepages post). I am reminded of the many lives that she has touched including mine and so many others. But as I am reminded of these gifts, I also can’t help but be frustrated and sad. It doesn’t seem fair that Laura’s daughters will lose two parents to cancer. But the thing is that cancer does not discriminate. It attacks who it will.

Yet God has this amazing way of taking dust and turning into beautiful things. Most of the time, it is like a deep fog that we cannot see through. But in time, God takes the deep fog, lifts the fog and reveals to us a magnificent rainbow. God reveals the beauty out of the brokenness. 

God indeed, “You make beautiful things out of dust. You make beautiful things out of us!”

Today I am linking up with my favorites; Holly and Testimony Tuesday, Kelly and the RaRa Linkup, Jennifer Dukes Lee and Tell His Story and Holley Gerth and Coffee for your Heart.
 


The Spilled Sand Art Cross (Or How God Takes Brokenness and Makes It Beautiful!)

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So much of our society and world is about striving to be perfect. We think we have to be perfect. But the truth is that God didn’t create us to be perfect. We are human…and we are sinners! I mean look at the world around us. This week especially I have been acutely aware of our sinfulness. Just turn on the news the last couple of days, riots breaking out in Baltimore. And I am saddened by what I see! My best friend’s husband is a highway patrolman. I know that RT would never act the way the policemen are acting in Baltimore. Yet I am not blind to the fact that we are all created to be both saints and sinners alike.

I am reminded of these words that we read in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” In other words, it is through our brokenness and our imperfections that we are made more powerful.

When I worked at a Bible camp for many summers, it was always awesome to watch how God often would use brokenness, imperfections to shine the light of God’s love on each other. One week in particular a friend and I were co-counselors together. Like many other weeks, this week had its challenging campers. One afternoon we were gathered in the craft shack to do an art project when one young girl in particular was testing our buttons. I don’t remember the particulars of that afternoon, how the sand art ended up on the floor, but it did. And in the midst of the spill, the sand art sprawled out onto the floor to create this beautiful cross. My co-counselor and I looked at each other and just smiled. A simple reminder of beauty out of brokenness.

The truth is that it is so easy to get caught up in wanting to be perfect, yet when we truly take the time, God has this amazing way of showing us how God takes our brokenness and makes beautiful things. My mom is one of those examples for me! Even though she has lived most of my life with a mental illness, her story/our story has blessed many. In the deepest darkness of the depression or in the highest high of the mania, God has taken it and reminded me that God indeed takes our brokenness and makes it beautiful. My sister and I wouldn’t be who we are without this journey. There were many days growing up when I didn’t understand. But as a young woman, I have become more and more aware of how God takes our brokenness and makes beautiful things out of our brokenness. In fact, to be honest, my mom is one of the most beautiful women that I know….beauty out of her own brokenness!

I think of my friends Jon and Renee and Renee’s first husband Ben. They wouldn’t have gone to Haiti if they knew the earthquake was going to happen and Ben was going to lose his life that day. Today Jon and Renee are married and have their first child. Again God took a horrific event and in the midst of it all, God wove together something incredibly beautiful.

Like that spilled sand art cross, God takes all of our brokenness and often weaves it into something incredibly beautiful. We may not always see it at first. But take a closer look and the beauty out of the brokenness is quite evident!

Today I am linking up with these beautiful writers 
Holley and Coffee for your Heart, Jennifer and Tell His Story.

 


Waiting in Faith

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Do you ever have one of those times when a sermon you’ve heard just keeps replaying in your brain? Last week’s sermon was one of those for me! It has a deep grip on my head and my heart. Last weekend my colleague PB was the preaching Pastor for the weekend but unfortunately was not feeling well, so my other colleague PK had to preach. PK’s words and sermon have been replaying in my head ever since last Sunday.

The whole theme of PK’s sermon was about “waiting upon the Lord.” One of the questions that he asked especially has been replaying in my heart and head this week. The question he asked was this, “How many “untils”? Can you wait for them in faith?”

How many “untils?” “Can you wait for them in faith?” Anyone who knows me or has read this here blog knows how my heart yearns so deeply to be a wife and a momma. I have often said….I cannot wait until I find my Mr. Right. I cannot wait until I have my first child. I cannot wait until….(fill in the blanks). And as I heard those questions, I found myself caught by them…..caught so much that my head shook along in agreement and a lump caught up in my throat. I’ll be honest I haven’t been very good at waiting in faith for my prayers to come true.  There have been more days than not when I wonder if God has heard my prayers at all. But the truth is I need to trust more fully. I need to wait more patiently. I need to especially wait for them in faith.

“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for the assurance of things not yet seen”

 “Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return!” As I heard those words last night and the cross marked on my forehead, I found myself saying, “Tara, you need to wait in faith…wait in faith for your “untils” to come true. It also reminded me that in my own humanity and even mortality, I am a human; called, claimed, and loved by God. And God is continually making me new! God is continually making YOU new too friends! I know that isn’t easy for us to hear but God has this incredible way of taking dust and making it into beautiful things. And so as I wait in faith, I trust God to make my “untils” come true and for God to make me new!