“In My Wrestling and My Doubts”

I am linking up for the Five Minute Friday. The FMF is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Today’s prompt is “Doubt.” Write for five minutes; unedited.

There Kate goes again…giving us a word prompt that hits me straight in the gut. 
Sometimes I stand in the mirror, looking at my face and body, self-doubt so easily creeping in. 
Sometimes I hear the news of another friend’s engagement or pregnancy, and I doubt whether it will ever happen for me. I honestly am excited for them, but there is a piece of me that has a hard time hearing those words. 
Sometimes I doubt if I am where God has called me to be in this time and place.
Doubt has a way of doing that, doesn’t it? Doubt has a way of creeping in and trying to tell us lies from the enemy. Yet the truth is that God wants us never to doubt ourselves, but most importantly, God wants us NEVER to doubt God’s promises for our lives. God gave each of  us gifts to share in the world and wants us never to take those gifts for granted. 
Faith=trust; trusting in God. Faith is the opposite of doubt. Faith is trusting in the words of God our Father. We are God’s beloved sons and daughters! Faith is knowing that “faith is the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things not yet seen.”
There are indeed days when I doubt whether or not God hears my prayers.* Actually to be honest, I often wonder if God hears my prayers. I still want to be a mom and a wife, but each and every day that doesn’t happen for me, I doubt a little bit more. Before I know it, doubt is finding its way into my heart and mind yet again.

As I doubt, I am thankful for the reminders that God is always there for us as long as we trust in him. In the words of one of my all-time favorite songs by one of my all-time favorite bands Rend Collective Experiment, I am reminded that God will never leave me or forsake me. The first verse even states “In my wrestling and in my doubts, In my failures, You won’t walk out; You’re great love will lead me through; You are the peace in my troubled seas.” Yes, God promises to never walk out and will be the peace in our troubled seas!
*Where my five minutes ended!