Wow….my 310th post. Doesn’t seem possible…especially since I don’t seem to have many readers. If you feel like it, you should comment. I love receiving comments on my blog!
I’ve been feeling really excited for all of my friends that are expecting babies. However it also makes me sad which is hard to express with people which is why I am posting on my blog…a place for me to share my emotions without feeling guilty etc. I am definetely at the place in my life where I want a family etc. I love holding babies and yearn to be a mom! I know that it will happen when I least expect it and in God’s timing. However that timing is hard to trust in. I find myself rejoicing with my friends but then behind closed doors, I often find myself shedding tears because I truly want to be where they are at. It’s hard to express that with my single friends who aren’t where I’m at. It’s also hard to express that with my married friends who already have children or who just don’t want any children at all. I’m conflicted! There are times I really find myself closing off how I feel about this subject because I dont want to offend or hurt anyone if you know what I mean. I think part of me also is consumed by fear too; what if I cant conceive, etc. My biological clock is ABSOLUTELY ticking! I would be more than delighted to adopt but I also want to experience carrying a baby etc. My time will come! I just need to find Mr. Right etc and I pray and hope that that will happen sooner rather than later!