I am a little wounded today friends…..but I shouldn’t be.
Recently I applied to be on the launch team of one of my favorite writers. I was so bummed to see an email saying that I wasn’t chosen to be a part of the launch team. Now I understand that it isn’t easy to narrow down the list when over 3000 people apply. But my heart was so ready to read this book before it was released.
It may seem childish of me for being wounded about not being chosen. But since I was little, I was the one who was teased relentlessly. I was the one who almost always got picked last for the team during physical education class. And even today, I sometimes find myself getting caught up in the numbers when I shouldn’t be. I think all of us bloggers, at one time or another, has found ourselves getting caught up in keeping track of our analytics. But that is not what it is about at all. It is about how my words (or YOUR words) might be the words that one person needed to hear today.
My head knows that…but sometimes my heart gets in the way and I find myself wounded. I wonder why everyone around me was chosen but not ME?? Now I realize that isn’t the case at all, but there are days that it sure feels like it especially when I see a copy of this book on my friends Instagram feed or a quote tweeted out on Twitter by another blog friend. I am excited for them to read this book…and I am excited to read it too (I’ll just have to wait a little bit longer. I broke down and bought my preorder TODAY!)
I know that I shouldn’t be wounded because that isn’t what it is about at all. God has something else in store for me. Perhaps being on someone else’s launch team or maybe it means using my time for something else. Whatever that path is, I need to remember that as my friend Susan says “God already knew about this” or G.A.K.A.T!” Yep, God has known all along. It just is some days that is easier to remember than others.
May we not get caught up by comparing ourselves to everyone around us. May we not be wounded when we aren’t chosen for the team. May we instead trust in our God who created us uniquely to be who God created us to be.
As you said, "God has something else in store for…" I think I somehow know how you feel. Every time someone posts pics from a wedding, graduation, or ordination, I realize my day to attend those events may come again and anew, but it reminds me of the friends and classmates I'd fully expected to grow older with. I'm literally delighted to be teaching on a regular basis again, and despite being a more effective teacher than I am preacher, I feel kicked in the gut when someone posts about sermon prep or preaching. The Youth Event in Detroit was huge for me! I prepared to do inner city ministry, with Detroit as my chosen dream city, although I know I could not do the weather long-term. I'm also the first to acknowledge how far I've come from someone who could not figure out what a Walmart might be ("mart"? store? isn't that self-evident?), what sweatpants might be… you know. But on the other hand, in order to have a clue as to a lot of things, measuring ourselves against certain standards and expected levels of participation is realistic. *Even* assessing our current situation against where we used to be?! Hugs!
Thanks for sharing your heart, Leah. It is hard. Praying for us both.
I don't think it's wrong or weird to feel hurt. Let yourself feel sad about it – but please don't get stuck there. You're a vibrant part of the writing community. Everyone who reads your words picks you. But most importantly, God picks you. Every time, every day. Hugs, dear lady.
Marie, thank you for saying that. I will indeed feel the loss but I promise I won't get stuck there. Yes, you are so right. God picks me every single time. Hugs to you too friend!
"May we not get caught up by comparing ourselves to everyone around us. May we not be wounded when we aren't chosen for the team. May we instead trust in our God who created us uniquely to be who God created us to be." Such good words for us to remember. But that doesn't mean we don't get hurt sometimes. We need to acknowledge it just like you've done but not "get stuck there" as Marie mentioned. You're a great writer and I love reading your posts.
Yes, I think we all need to remember those words. Thanks for your kind words. They mean so much!
Amen to everything you said here! I have certainly taken it personally when I wasn't chosen for launch teams, and I definitely obsess too much over numbers. Thanks for the reminder!!
Melissa, so glad I am not alone! 😛
That stinks. It really does. As a blogger I can totally empathize with that feeling of rejection. I know I should have tougher skin and not take things personally, but that's easier said than done. Sending a virtual hug your way my friend.
Thanks Natalie! I need to have tougher skin too and not take things so personally. But totally easier said than done. Sending a virtual hug back your way too.
My heart can certainly relate to this. Rejection hits such a trigger point doesn't it? I love Susan's quote there. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.
Thanks Jo! Isn't Susan's quote fantastic?!?!
Sorry. I know how that feels not to get accepted for something that you really wanted to participate in. Praying for you my friend. Also hoping you are over recent bout with illness. 😉
Mary, thanks for the prayers. And yes I indeed am.
My heart hurts for you and not being chosen. But I am walking with you in this journey and most of all God is right there when disappointment comes along. Thank you for your transparency and for graciously reminding us that we are always chosen for God's team. Praying for you and knowing that God is behind the scenes working hard just for you.
Thanks Mary. Yes, God is indeed right there when the disappointment comes along. You know that is so true. I may not have been chosen for this team, but God ALWAYS chooses me and YOU and all of us for God's team. Thanks for the prayers friend. They are so greatly appreciated!