Not Broken!

I am broken!

Well at least, society sometimes makes me feel like that especially on days like this past Sunday; Mother’s Day.

Why is it that the world so often thinks that motherhood and womanhood are synonymous? One can be a woman without being a mother. But so often they are tied together. I think of the many times my single friends and I have been asked if we are going to be “spinsters” all of our lives. The truth is that not everyone is called to be a wife or a mom.

For me, I honestly can still be a woman of God without the call to motherhood. Yet my entire life, I have felt the call to motherhood. It is a deep deep desire of my heart. Honestly, there is nothing that I want more. And it is not because most of the world has tied motherhood and womanhood together. But because it IS a God-given call from God to me!

I cannot even begin to tell you the number of tears I have cried (and will cry) throughout my 37 years on this earth because this desire has not been fulfilled for me yet. I understand that there are other types of moms out there: the friend who cares for her friend’s children like they are her own nieces and nephews; the foster and adoptive moms, the mentors, the teachers and so many others. Perhaps God is calling me and YOU to be a mother in a variety of different ways.

The truth is that “mothering” is more often a verb rather than a noun. Mothers are called to wipe tears away. Mothers are called to fix “boo-boos.” Mothers are called to listen to their children as they utter the cries and prayers of their own hearts. Mothers are called to embrace those she loves in her arms. Mothers are called to put her children and her family first. Mothers are called to simply be who God created them to be. Sometimes that call truly is to be a mother while other times the call to motherhood is to make the best choices for their child by giving him/her up for adoption.

It saddens me that society has so often tied motherhood and womanhood together. They don’t need to be mutually exclusive. I do understand though that for myself and so many others, motherhood is a desire of our heart and a God-given call from God. Yet I will never understand why dear friends had to lay their daughter in Jesus’ care after she was born months early and lived on this Earth for only 90 minutes. I will never understand why my cousin has had to lay two children to rest either. I will never understand why some children are never born to their mothers. But what I do know is that each of these mothers were called by God to be moms.

Yes, a God-given call from God that is not given to everyone but a call that God carefully selects and chooses how and who it will be given to. Sometimes that might be by adopting or fostering a child. Sometimes that might be through a birth mother choosing a better life for her child. Sometimes it might be a call to be a mom for a little while. And even in those moments, I know that God is walking with each and every one of us who feels the call to “mother.”

So know this, my friends, if you are called to be a mom or not, you are not broken.
You are completely 100% whole even when it feels like you are not. Each of us has been given different gifts by God and I want you to know that you are not alone. Mothers or not, we are in this together!

We are not broken!

I’m linking up with these lovely ladies today: Holly and Testimony Tuesday, Kelly and the RaRa linkup, Jennifer and Tell His Story; Holley and Coffee for your Heart, and Kristin and Three Word Wednesday!

12 thoughts on “Not Broken!

  1. Yes Tara! As a Mom that hasn't birthed a baby but has 4 beautiful children, I sometimes struggle with feeling less than because I have never felt a baby kick or experienced labor and delivery. But I do have 4 "Awesome God" stories that are unlike anyone else. That's what I remember and focus on when the less than feelings come.

  2. Amen! You said this so well. I certainly never try to come across that motherhood is a special club that only some are called to be a part of. I believe all women are mothers because of their caring, loving hearts. Some just do not have biological children. When I think of all you have done in your 37 years and how you care for others especially children- well that makes you a mother in my book.

  3. Some of the most nurturing people I know are NOT mothers, while some mothers I know are the farthest thing from it. Some of the labels and judgement we place on each other are so dead wrong.

  4. I found you through Holley's link-up & so thankful I did! I am one of those mothers that my child was never born to me! I call it being a "childless mother". I've had a relationship with Christ for years, but this was something that could have destroyed me. After years of misery, I found heart healing at the hands of my loving Father! His plan is not always easy, but it is always better!

    I had to let myself be broken so God could put me back together! I rejoice over what He has done for me & is doing through me. It is only difficult now when I have to deal with young mothers that make remarks of how superior that are because that have given birth… I just don't think people think sometimes how hurtful their words can be.

    Praying for you to find the desires of your heart & that your desires line-up with God's desires for you! Thank you for sharing!

    • Carin, thank you for stopping by my neck of the woods. I'm so glad you've found heart healing at the hands of our loving Father! Thank you for the prayers. They are so greatly appreciated!

  5. Hi Tara- thank you for the beautiful post. I think we're about the same age and I also wanted to get married and have kids but it does not look like it will happen for me. I was wondering how you got to be kind of ok about it? It still breaks my heart. It's also very difficult for me to listen to moms whine and complain about their lives, and I always feel bad when people talk about how blessed they are (with children).

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