This week rather Valentine’s Day is hard y’all! I know I sound like a broken record. But there is so much truth to this statement. On Valentine’s Day, it seems everywhere you look there are flowers being delivered to everyone but you. It seems everyone has someone next to their side holding their hand while my hand lays empty. And there are roses, balloons, chocolates…oh MY….everywhere! It is almost impossible to escape the reality of this day especially as a single person. For me, it continually reminds me of my singleness and Valentine’s Day has been dubbed Single Awareness Day by myself and many others.
At 40 years old, my biological clock is continually ticking away. I have yearned to be a wife and mom since I was a little girl. Yet it has not happened for me. It is a deep desire of my heart that continually echoes “How long, oh Lord, will you forget me forever? How long, Oh Lord?”
On days, like Valentine’s Day, I too often find myself believing that God has indeed forgotten me. Why is my heart aching so deeply because this deep desire has not been met for me? My head truly knows that God has not forgotten me but my heart believes something else entirely.
Logically, every fiber of my being knows that if it is meant to be, it will happen in God’s timing and not my own. Yet illogically, I want to try everything in my power to fix this. Yet the truth is there is nothing to fix. However, how often does society make those of us who are single feel like we are broken; unwhole because we do not have that special someone by our side? The truth is that it is all too often!
I wish that I didn’t wrap my identity up in my singleness. I wish that I could see that I am enough. But on days, like Valentine’s day, it is almost impossible to escape these thoughts running through my heart and head. I want the ache of my heart to go away. I want to finally have the deep desires of my heart met. I want to know that my wholeness is not wrapped up in a label…single, married, divorced, widowed, etc.
Because of my faith, I will spend Valentine’s Day trying with all my might to trust in the promises that I am a beautiful beloved child of God. Every year on Valentine’s Day, I am reminded of these words from an article I read several years ago: “I’m single. Not sick, not a problem and not past my prime. So please don’t pity me on Valentine’s Day, because today of all days, I need your help to remember that my value doesn’t rest in a relationship status, in a box of chocolates or in a red rose. It rests in the fact that no matter what lies ahead of me, I am God’s beloved and His plans for me far exceed the feelings of a day.” (Read the rest HERE!)
As the engagement rings are placed on fingers, as friends start having children of their own, and relationships form around me, it can be really easy to fall into that pit of pity; to believe that all of who I am is wrapped up in my singleness. It is on this special day that I need to fully know that my identity is not wrapped up in my singleness, but in my identity as a beautiful blessed broken beloved child of God.
Because on Valentine’s Day, I need to know more than ever that I am valued, that I am enough, and that I am loved.
I am linking up with Kelly and the Ra Ra linkup, Mary and Tell His Story, Susan and Lets Have Coffee and Kristin and Porch Stories!