I think I’m a pretty patient person most of the time as our world is full of places where we wait. I think that I am pretty good at waiting; waiting in line at the grocery store, at the post office, etc but when it comes to waiting for those deep desires of my heart; waiting for those untils to come true, I’m horrible at waiting. And some days are harder than others as I wait….today has been one of those days!
Another dear friend announced her engagement tonight. I’m excited for her and I know that she has waited for a long time as she too has found herself continually waiting. She is so happy. And as she reminded us all in her Facebook post announcing her engagement, the waiting is totally worth it. Most days I can believe her, but I still have a hard time trusting in God’s promises when I’m still chasing my very own own untils.
I feel an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. As I wait, I get caught up in the lies of the enemy. Am I good enough? Am I valuable? Am I worthy? Too often those lies attack me and I think I’m not enough or valuable or worthy. But the truth is that God created me; created each of us as beautiful individuals who are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” God sees me waiting and promises to never leave or forsake me or YOU!
Yet I still find myself standing here waiting….waiting for the deep desires of my heart to come true. A lot of days I find myself still waiting and wondering if perhaps I’ve been passed by in that waiting line. And when I think I’ve been passed over, my heart sinks even more and that pit in my stomach becomes even larger as I wonder if I’ll always find myself standing in that waiting line.
I’ll admit that it is a truly difficult place to find myself especially when those who have been waiting around me are now no longer waiting, It kind of feels like being picked last for Phys Ed and I honestly dislike that feeling very much. I don’t want to be caught standing all alone waiting to be a wife and mom forever!
Yet God is an amazing God who isn’t going to leave us waiting forever. In fact, God promises to walk with each of us especially in the midst of our own waiting. On days like today, when it feels like I’m always waiting in line for my deep desires to come true, I’m choosing to cling to that very promise; that God will never leave us or forsake us. It is a promise that reminds me that there is always hope and that waiting does come to an end…just not always the way we expected it to.
I am linking up with these lovelies today–Holly and Testimony Tuesday, Kelly and the RaRa linkup, Jennifer and Tell His Story, and Holley and Coffee for your Heart.