“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?”-Psalm 13:1
Anyone who knows me at all knows how endlessly I have prayed this prayer. The deepest desires of my heart are to be a wife and a mom. Yet at almost 45 years old, that prayer had not been answered for me. That is until a few months ago when God showed me that God indeed hears me and that God was beginning to answer this prayer for me.
I can’t help but laugh and say to myself, “Oh Tara, were you not paying attention?” Way back in February, my now boyfriend asked me out on a date. I turned him down. Yes, you heard me correctly. I turned him down. He asked a few more times and I turned him down those times too. (Trust me, he hasn’t let me forget this either!)
To be honest, I think the age difference scared me and I was worried about what others would think. But then there seemed to be this little nudge from God. I found myself saying yes to him. And I haven’t looked back. Yes, there may be an age difference but he makes me so incredibly happy. He also reminds me all the time how beautiful I am. And in some ways, he also has pushed me outside of my comfort zone in good ways. To be honest, he is one of my favorite people and the 90 miles apart that we are now is hard.
Yet I am trusting in God! Because I now see and know that God heard every single prayer of Psalm 13 that I’ve prayed over these almost 45 years. Friends and family have always reminded me that it will happen in God’s timing and not my own and boy where they right.
I also believe that it has to happen in God’s timing and not my own, because God was and is continuing to prepare my heart and his heart. God was also showing me my own worth and beauty. I had to accept my own beauty before I would realize what others were seeing in me.
Three years ago, when I joined TikTok, I never imagined the community I would meet and that would help me see my own worth and walk with me on this personal growth journey. I have grown in so many amazing ways. Like the lotus tattoo on my upper back, I have blossomed and grown into this beautiful flower who continues to develop and grow because of the love poured into my life.
I am so excited to see where this journey takes me; takes us. My guy cares for me and loves me in ways I only dreamt of. I am clinging tight to that love and instead of praying the words from Psalm 13: 1, I am instead now praying the words from Psalm 13:5-6: “But I trusted in your steadfast love, my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”
Because the truth is God NEVER forgets us! God just has to prepare us for the right time and place. And I can’t believe I ever doubted that promise! But I have a feeling I am not the only one who has doubted that God heard the cry of your heart. Know you are not alone friends. God is here and hears every prayer we speak!