Bouyed by Love

I’ve been telling my friends that they are going to have to start investing in Kleenex because they have brought me so many happy joyful tears lately. It is hard to even encapsulate into words, but this blog post is my attempt to do just that.

The story begins on Tik Tok of all places…yes I said Tik Tok! I met this amazing group of beautiful humans who are all about spreading love and positivity. One of the very first people I met on Tik Tok was a guy that goes by the handle @the_shoe_fits; my friend Dan. This incredible human has become one of my dearest friends and has taught me so much about sharing kindness and love with others.

This friend began something we call the love rally. It began with his idea. We are a bunch of creators who every two weeks go and love slap other creators. Slap stands for spreading love and positivity. It is so much fun and we often come into lives of those who really need to be uplifted that day. I have always participated but it wasn’t until about three months ago that I joined the crew officially. Little did I know what these people would bring to my life.

In the last three months, there have been changes happening within myself. As my friend Leonard says “the biggest glow up in all of Tik Tok!” This butterfly is beginning to emerge from her cocoon; spreading her own wings. It amazes me every day that I am not the same woman I was six months ago even.

On Saturday, my friend Matt posted a video saying how incredibly proud he was of me and to spend time remembering where I have come from and where I am going. That video made me bawl! And that was just the beginning of the onslaught of love that would be thrown my way over a course of about 72 hours. I think I counted at least nine videos where I was tagged. It was and continues to be so overwhelming.

These humans keep seeing me blossom (which funny thing: that is my 2021 word of the year). They see a potential in me that I don’t think I even saw in myself until they began to see it. They are showing me the power of my own light and I am so incredibly grateful..

Yes, there is still work to do but I know that I can do it with this incredible group of humans cheering me on. The walls are beginning to crumble around me. I am trusting in them now more than I ever have. I know that when it gets dark, they will show me the light or offer me a hand to grab hold of.

And because of them, I am learning to take care of me; to bring about my own happiness. This woman who has never worn makeup is now wearing it daily. There is light and joy back in my face and eyes. The smile keeps getting brighter and brighter. My confidence is growing and so many others are seeing it too (I’ve gotten at least two messages today asking me what I am doing differently because it looks good on me!)

I am basking in this unconditional love and trying not to let go of it because I am so excited to see what the future holds now. My heart is full. My cup is running over. And I am so ready to see what is in store next. But not without saying the biggest thank you to my love rally family. You have made this woman see and value her own worth. You have made her realize the gifts she has of caring for others through kindness and compassion. You have made her stronger. You have made her, most of all, not feel alone!

Thank you beautiful humans! I love you all so much! You are stuck with me for ever and always!

Learning to Love Oneself

Sorry again friends that I’ve been MIA. Life has just been busy! The weekly Five Minute Friday word prompt for this week is “green.”

The eyeshadow brush moves across my eyelids. The purple eyeshadow begins to bring out the green in my eyes. I’ve never been much of a makeup girl until a few months ago. At 42 years old, I’m finally beginning to see my own worth; to see that I deserve love and to be loved. But most of all, I must love and care for me.

In the last three months, I’ve begun to blossom. I’m a woman who is finding her voice. A voice that’s always been there but now it is more confident; more solid. My voice isn’t as shaky when I speak my truths.

This morning, I was reminded of how far I’ve come and how bright my future looks. A dear friend posted a video on Tik Tok sharing how proud he is of me. Sitting on my couch, wearing my green love over hate tshirt, tears fell from my eyes as I realized how proud I should be of myself. I’m putting in the work and I’ve come a long way!

I’m excited to see what comes next!