“To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be.” These words posted on a friend’s FB page written by Amy Young hit so close to home for me. At almost 35 years old, I deeply yearn to be a mom. I try to be patient but that is so much easier said than done. I have yearned to be a mama for as long as I can remember! I want to be a mama just like my mama has been for me.
I watch my friends be “mommas” and I can’t help but smile. I am so thankful for the gift they are to their children. But I also mourn for my friends who have struggled with infertility and miscarriages. My heart aches for them…as I know they so deeply want to be a momma for the first time or again. I don’t always understand why this happens. I find myself asking God “Why?” And at times, it just doesn’t seem fair.
Yes, life hasn’t turned out the way I have longed for it to be. I keep telling myself that it will happen when God says that I am ready. Yet there is a piece of me that feels incomplete. I know that isn’t true. But so much of the world is all about celebrities becoming pregnant. I mean looking at how the world is all over how Kate Middleton is doing throughout her pregnancy. Yet the truth is some of the neatest single women in my life aren’t mothers yet they care like a mother cares for her children. I honestly do want to be a momma but I know that my friends who are single and not mommas are mommas in their own right too. Someday I hope and pray that life will turn out the way I want and will make me a momma…whether that be biological or through adoption.
Below is the rest of the poem from Amy Young. It captures so well what being a momma looks like in our world. Happy Mother’s Day everyone! This is for all of you my friends who are mommas, who yearn to be mommas, etc!
From Grace Lutheran for Mother’s Day:
“To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you. To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you. To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you.
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you. To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you. To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you. To those who have disappointment, heartache, and distance with your children – we sit with you.
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you. To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience. To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst. To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day.
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be. To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths. To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be – we grieve with you.
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you. To those who placed children up for adoption – we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you.
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you. (By Amy Young)”